Trial and Error

Mentally Dead

Chapter 6

You know, I dont think I can handle this much stress.

For weeks, Ive been trying to perfect this new book, and I always have to make sure to respond to every bit of fan mail I get, and I hang out with Ash, and now this fight..

I seriously dont think I can handle this much shit.

I stayed on the floor crying for about twenty minutes, until my tear ducts dried up and I suddenly had a huge craving for ice cream. I hadnt eaten anything that day and theres nothing like a good fight to make you hungry. Reaching into the freezer, I grabbed a huge tub of Rocky Road that was shoved into the back of my freezer and started frantically shoving the cold substance into my mouth. The ice cream slid down my throat as I thought about what had just happened. I had fought with my best friend, the best friend Ive ever had and the only person I could really enjoy spending time with. We had never actually had a real fight before, so I didnt really know what would happen next. Would that be the end of our friendship? No, that cant be it. We've been friends for over 20 years, we arent gonna just, stop liking each other because of something as stupid as a little fight.

Would we?

Over the next couple weeks, we had absolutely no contact at all. I considered going over to his house, but I never acually did. I did send him multiple texts, but the only thing I got back was an ok. After the second week of this, I decided that I was going over to his house. He may not have the balls to come over and make-up, but I decided to grow some and did it myself. I texted him saying I was coming over and drove over to his house. His house is a good ten minutes away from mine, so I had time to decide what to say. He never responded to my text, so I had no idea what to expect from him. When I got there though, his car wasnt in the driveway and I realized he must be at work. He works as a graphic designer for Nintendo of America. The new headquarters of Nintendo of America was built in Chicago, and we both live very close to Chicago, so Ashton sprung for a job there (A/N This is a work of fiction. Nintendo of America's headquarters is not in Chicago. I dont want to see any comments about how No, thats not true, I work at nintendo and Im suing you for lying. This is fiction. And i dont own nintendo dont sue me). They are fairly strict there, and his boss gets very mad whenever he caught people on electronics other than their computers, so he kept his phone on silent until his break (FICTION BOSSES AT NINTENDO ARE NICE PEOPLE WHO ARENT STRICT F I C T I O N). I decided I would leave and come back later in the day which ended being the next day. I came at 8am, the time he usually came to my place everyday and knocked on the door. Normally, Id just bust in screaming, using the hideaway key but I wasnt sure if that would be ok. I knocked for ten minutes.

No answer.

Ten more.

No answer.

His car was in the driveway, so I knew he was home. Circling around the house to his bedroom window, I slowly got on my tippy toes and peered inside. I was greeted with his shirtless back, his muscles glistening with sweat. He was sitting at the edge of his bed, with his face in his hands. His entire body was tense, and his shoulders were shaking violently. It took me a minute to realise he was crying. I hadnt seen him cry since he was in middle school. In the sixth grade, when he had been sent to detention for calling Arin Hansen (A/N NOT GAME GRUMPS ARIN HANSON DONT SUE ME GAME GRUMPS I DONT MEAN YOU DIFFFERENT PERSON MY OC THIS IS FICTION) a douche. Arin was an eigth grader at the time, and was pushing me around because of my anxiety. We were giving a presentation in ELA and anxiety was all "Hey guys whats up ima take over this persons body and make her want death!" in the middle of it, and I started stuttering. I ended up having to sit back down without finishing cause it got so bad, and I couldnt talk anymore. The story spread around the school like wildfire, and I was made fun of more than normal. Ash had seen Arin pushing me around and pushed him away, then called him a douche. Arin clocked him so hard in the temple that Ashton was knocked out cold. Flying into a locker, he knocked into it and slid down. Arin then proceeded to spit a loogie at him and walk away. He was sent to the principal later on when I told a teacher. A teacher who had seen the whole thing unfold picked Ash up and carried him to the nurse. I stayed with him the whole time. When he came to, he was sent to the detention room. I tried going with him but they didnt let me. I begged to go. When they didnt let me, I spat out a large array of swear words, and picked up a can of tounge deppresors. I then threw the can across the room. My face contorted into a pleading look, and I asked if I could go. The nurse sighed.

"Look, I know you want to stay with your friend, and I know that youre both hurting, so Im going to brush all of that off." The nurse said. "Pick those all back up, and I'll let you in to stay with your friend."

It was when I walked in that he started crying. I told him what I had done and he cried harder, sobs encassing his entire body.

I was very surprised to see him crying again. Everynow and then, he'd get up and walk to the door, about to leave his bedroom to greet me at the front door, but he would shake his head and go back to his bed. I felt horrible. I'll call him to talk tonight. I thought.

I never called him to talk.

Another week passed. No contact between the two of us. We had never been apart this long. I was actually getting worried. And then something that was both a blessing and a curse came upon us both. My parents called on May 13th to give me some good news. They were having their 30th anniversary, and were having a huge celebration. They wanted both me and Ash to be there. They had practically raised Ash since he was over at our house so much, and they loved him as though he was their own child. I told them that he probably wouldnt be able to go, and they insisted more. The call ended with my mom telling me to call Ash and tell him about the party, and then she said she'll call him too in the case that I dont.

My hands shook as I lowered the phone. I havent been apart from Ash for so long, longer than Ive ever been away from him in my entire life, and now I have to invite him to a party.

I really dont have the mental capacity for this much shit right now...

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Wow this chapter took forever to write

I was kind of on and off for about a month without doing anything and I kind of just didn't want to uuugh

Ill try being more active