It's Always Been You [h.s.]

Part One

I peeked through the window and saw Harry with a long blond-haired girl sitting on his doorsteps. They were joking around. Harry tickled her and she leaned in, burst out laughing. Then Harry put his arm around her, pulled her closer, and kissed her lips. I closed the curtain violently, not wanting to see any more of that because my tears started rolling down my cheeks.

Harry was my bestfriend plus my childhood friend. We'd been friends for ages. I didn't remember when exactly it had begun. All I remembered was I'd always spent my time with Harry since I was a kid, or even a baby. We had gone to the same primary school and now we were in the same secondary school as well. My parents even treated him like their own son while his parents did the same to me.

I had come to this world with an unhealthy body. My doctor said my heart didn't work properly like the other's. That was why I got sick easily. I rarely came to school. But fortunately, I could finish my education in primary school, it was because Harry had always come to my house after school and patiently taught me what he had learned at school.

I loved the way he took care of me when I was sick. His kindness and concern for me made me love him. Yes, I'd fallen in love with my bestfriend, more than as a friend. I really wanted him to see me more than just a friend too, but he had changed since we grew up. He was so much taller than he used to be, his voice was deeper, and he had once told me that he routinely went to the gym now.

"Hey, guess what?" Harry had asked one day. We were in his room and he was teaching me how to play football on his PSP.

"What?" I asked him back as I pressed the pause button and put his PSP on my lap.

"Guess!"

"I can't, I have no clue," I shrugged. "And you know I'm not good at riddles, Harry. Just tell me what it is."

He chuckled softly. "Okay, I'll tell you. Well, actually it's not an important thing." He cleared his throat. "I decided to start working out."

I widened my eyes. "Really? Wow, that's cool!"

"Yes, it is," he admitted sheepishly.

"Now, I choose you as my unofficial bodyguard," I joked.

Unpredictably, he put his arm around my shoulders and held me closer. "You didn't need to choose me as your bodyguard, because I'll always look after you without you asking me to."

I blushed and my heart beat faster. What did he say? I thought. Does it mean he... loves me too? I inhaled and exhaled quietly, trying to act normal. "Haha good one, you flirty boy. That's how you flirt with girls, eh?"

He then awkwardly released me as he threw me a quick smile and cleared his throat again. "Let's continue our virtual football lesson."

A couple months later, he'd showed me his new workout body. I couldn't deny that I loved it. I really did. His posture became very strong, straight, and guarded. But I also hated it because it made him loved by more girls in our high school.

I couldn't blame him for being so nice and friendly to everyone. He was very chatty. Those were his turn-ons for girls too. And I had ever heard that girls loved his cheeky smile and brown curls as well. And his deep voice sounded amazing when he sang.

"Do you know Harry Styles?" I remembered overhearing a pretty girl with auburn hair talking from a table right beside mine at the cafeteria.

My ears pricked up when I heard Harry's name to be mentioned.

"The hot boy with curly hair?" her friend in front of her asked excitedly.

"Oh, I know. The boy with a beautiful voice who sang at music festival last month?" the auburn-haired girl's other friend, who was sitting next to her, asked as she leaned against the table.

"Yes, yes, him!" said the auburn girl abruptly. "Isn't he hot?"

"Of course he is! I love his curls!"

"And his voice! Oh my God."

"Oh and his dimples!"

"Oh my God, yes! It's so cute!"

"Girls! Yes, yes, I love it too," the auburn girl interrupted her friends. "But have you seen his... abs?"

I tightened my clench. What? She saw...? But, how?

"We're in the same PE class," I listened carefully as that auburn girl started explaining, "and a few days ago when he pulled up his shirt to wipe his sweat, oh my gosh! I saw his abs! It was... It was so... Omg, I can't even tell!" Those girls squealed in low voices.

About a week after that, the news about Harry and that auburn girl dating had been all over the school. I had cried a lot in the toilet. And the next day, I had gotten sick again. I always saw him around those hot and pretty girls since then. I admitted I was jealous. I was jealous of any girl getting very close to him, but I knew he would never love me back. I wasn't as hot and pretty as his exes. No, I wasn't even hot. He only saw me as his sister.

I missed the old Harry, the one who had always been there for me. Who had always made me laugh with his random jokes. Who had always sung to me with his beautiful voice. Who had always come to my house after school when I got sick. Who had only been mine.

It'd been almost two weeks since I was sick for the millionth time but I still hadn't found Harry in my bedroom yet, taking care of me like he used to. It wasn't the first time he didn't visit me since he had gotten his popularity. Day by day, we rarely met and our friendship began drifting away more and more. And the worse thing was I'd just seen him there in front of his house, having fun with his--I guessed--new girlfriend. He didn't care about me anymore since he was too busy with his new friends and girlfriends. He forgot about me. He might be tired of taking care of my sick body. This was so sad.

I cried all alone in my room.

***

(to be continued)