ophelia; j.k.

i

march 17th

her room smelled of stale weed and perfume. her curtains only open a crack to allow the ray of sun in.

ophelia sat on her floor, crying.

she held in her hands, a book that lacey had given her.

lacey was ophelia's best friend. they were inseparable. attached at the hip.

they met when they were only 7. lacey made fun of ophelia for her accent, so ophelia hit her. they both had to stay in at recess, but they soon became best friends. 15 years later it was as if they were still 7. always by each others side, laughing, gossiping, crying to each other.

ophelia blamed herself. she blamed herself for not noticing lacey's mood swings, and how she changed her entire wardrobe, or how she was always so tired.

she felt as if it was her fault.

today was the first day she left the house in weeks. too sad to get out of bed, to eat, to care.

she was dressed in all black.

it was lacey's funeral.

she killed herself.

ophelia was sad, but she was also angry. angry at lacey, and at the world. how could her best friend just leave her like that? how will she be able to get through this? why are people so mean?

there was only one question that raced through ophelia's mind though; "why didn't she tell me?"

ophelia wanted to believe so bad that lacey would come back, that the doctors were wrong, that she did survive the overdose, but to her dismay, she was wrong.

and now she was alone.

she couldn't bear the thought of living without lacey. she was her only friend. ophelia loved her with all her heart, and now that she was gone, it was as though she had died too.

ophelia flipped through the journal lacey had left her, and fell upon the page she didn't know if she wanted to find.

"ophelia. i love you. so much. i always will. i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry. i'm sorry i left you. i'm sorry i hurt you. i'm sorry i didn't tell you. don't blame yourself for this. this is NOT your fault. please, live. have fun. get high. get drunk. have a shit ton of sex. don't let me stop you from loving. i love you. lacey."