Sleeplessness // Marianas Trench

Chapter 1

June 23, 2002

I looked myself over in my mirror one last time, running a brush through my long, recently dyed blonde hair. I touched up my makeup, concentrating on my eyeliner to make my eyes pop and lastly, I switched to a push-up bra and tugged my shirt just a little lower. I didn't have much cleavage but it was enough. It was the first party of the summer and literally everyone was going to be there. Just as I was starting to question why I was even going to this party, my friend Matt texted me telling me he was outside. I put my phone in the back pocket of my shorts and rushed downstairs.

I didn't bother leaving mom a note, she was never home anyway. I skipped to Matt's old red pick-up truck that he bought dirt-cheap and has been fixing up for a few months. It ran which is all that really mattered. I climbed in the passenger side beside Matt and gave him a side hug. "I'm glad you're coming tonight," he said, pulling out of the driveway. Matt's a year older and is the typical teenage boy; plays on the football team, goes to parties. He was a music kid though and was in the school choir, which is where he met his best friend Josh, who is also a year older. Matt and Josh are complete opposites. Josh hangs out with the potheads and smokers. He doesn't care about school and is known as the "bad boy" at school where as Matt hangs out with jocks and choir guys, and cares about his education. How they're even friends is beyond me but I'm glad they are, mainly because Matt has known me long enough to know that I have a bit of a crush on Josh and is willing to help me get to know him more. He often teases me about it but that's normal between us. Seeing Josh was one of the only reasons why I agreed to go to this party to begin with.

"Promise me you won't just abandon me randomly and have me fend for myself," I said to Matt which made him chuckle, "I've never met anyone so socially awkward, Lainey. I promise, you'll be fine." I relaxed a little knowing I could count on him. Of course this wasn't my first party but it was definitely the biggest so far and I was paranoid that everyone would be able to tell I was younger even though I look older than 16. Josh and Matt are turning 18 just before my 17th birthday so it's not that bad. My heart was beating rapidly and I couldn't sit still the entire drive, I was so nervous and didn't know why. "It's only Josh, Lainey. You don't have to be so nervous," Matt assured me as he parked across the street from the party, which was already in full swing. I grinned at him and he led me in the house straight to the kitchen. I grabbed some kind of alcohol while Matt grabbed a beer and we walked into the main part where people were packed in everywhere.

Matt was pretty popular and everywhere we turned, people were talking to him. He introduced me to a few people I didn't know and I gave him some space and stood to the side, people-watching and drinking from the red cup in my hand. As I consumed more, I felt much less anxious. I started talking to a few girls I knew and Matt came over as they walked away, "good to see you're loosening up," he yelled over the music. I returned his smile and nodded. His eyes went to somewhere behind me and I turned to follow his gaze and immediately spotted the long black hair. Josh. It wasn't that hard to see him; he was a really tall guy, taller than Matt who's a good 5'11. I turned back to Matt and he winked at me, causing me to blush slightly. "You have 20 seconds before he gets over here," Matt told me and I took a sip of my drink, hoping it'd keep me from getting too anxious.

Josh came up beside me and he and Matt did some kind of stereotypical handshake/bro hug thing that I mentally rolled my eyes at. "And how are you, Lainey? I didn't expect to see you here," Josh said, pulling me into a quick hug. Although we weren't close at all, I think he probably wanted me to feel like we were because I was Matt's friend. "I'm good. I decided to have fun tonight so here I am," I said, looking up into his eyes. They were a mix of grey and blue and it felt like he could read you in and out just from eye contact. He returned my smile and broke eye contact first when Matt mentioned something to him about their band. I finished the rest of my drink and needed another one if I had any hopes of not completely embarrassing myself by being awkward.

"I'm gonna get another drink," I said and Matt nodded before continuing their conversation. I pushed through bodies and finally made it to the kitchen. Just as I reached to grab another cup of whatever I had been drinking before, I felt a hand on my lower back and looked beside me to see josh smiling down at me.