Terrible Things

Chapter 4 - Now

I sit there for a while, staring up at the ceiling as I remember that first night. Here I was, nine years later, and I could still remember that night so clearly. The feeling of his skin when he passed me his number, the sound of his laugh when I stumbled over my greeting. All the things that used to make my heart race. But now it just ached, the pain swallowing me until I'm not sure where it starts and where I end. Maybe that's all I was now: Pain.

If I had known back then what I do now, how it all would end up, would I still catch Jimin's eye? Would I have ignored him if he came over to talk to me? Or would I have just not gone out with my friends that night?

Taehyung's laughter filters in from downstairs and I know my answer.

No matter the cost, no matter the pain, I would still do it all over again.

Because even if it was for a short period of time, Jimin had given me all that I ever wanted: love, acceptance, a family.

I just wish I could've given him everything that he wanted.

I push through the pain, my surroundings coming back into focus as I push myself to my feet. Moving around the bed, I start to gather up the photos Taehyung had removed and place them back in the box. I set the lid back on top and stare at it for a moment, the all too familiar dread sinking in my stomach as I seal away our memories and any traces of the happiness that once was.

I leave it on the bed, knowing there's no use in hiding it since Taehyung already knows about it, and leave my room, closing the door softly behind me.

Music fills my ears as I descend the stairs, a smile pulling at my lips when I see the source of it. Taehyung is swaying in the center of the living room, his toy microphone raised to his mouth as he serenades Jungkook, who watches him with an awe-struck expression.

I stop at the bottom of the stairs, watching them for a moment as uneasiness swirls in my stomach. Right now, they were young and happy. But soon they were grow older and their places would be chosen. Jungkook was an Alpha, his pheromones predicted be almost as strong as mine when he gets older. But Taehyung, he was an Omega - another thing he inherited from Jimin.

I just hoped that it didn't put a strain on their relationship.

The songs ends, Jungkook's little hands clapping as Taehyung beams at him, his face filled with pride. He notices me, dropping the microphone and dashing towards me. "Daddy!" he wraps his arms around my waist, looking up at me. "Did you hear me? Was I good?"

"I did, I did." I run my fingers through his hair, smiling fondly at him. "You were amazing, Taehyungie."

He gives me one last smile before rushing back into the living room, now taking his spot on the floor as Jungkook holds the microphone. The music starts, the soft notes fading as I walk to the kitchen. The room is bright, the sun glinting off all the stainless steel appliances in the room. It was a very modern look, one that Jimin had picked out when we first designed the house.

Jin and Namjoon are sitting at the table when I walk in, their heads shooting up when I enter. I take a seat next to Namjoon and he slides me a mug. "Why do you guys look like you were just caught talking about me?" I take a sip, my tongue burning from the coffee as they exchange a glance. That was the one thing I hated about mates, you always felt left out of the conversation.

"Namjoon was just telling me... that you started talking to Taehyung about him."

I meet Jin's pity filled gaze over the edge of my cup. Frustration builds in my chest. "You can say his name, Jin. I'm not going to break." My words come out harsher than I mean them to, Jin's eyes dropping back to the table as he feels the sting of them. Namjoon looks at me, his disapproval clear in his eyes. I sigh, my voice softer when I speak this time. "Taehyung found the box and the photos. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't lie to him."

Jin grabs my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I think you're doing the right thing. He's at the age where he starts to notice that type of stuff. He was going to start asking questions eventually."

Namjoon leans back in his chair, tapping his fingers on the table. "Plus wasn't this the year that you were supposed to start opening the-"

"Don't mention those," I bite out, cutting him off.

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, my bad." An awkward silence fills the room for a few moments, none of us really knowing what to say. Namjoon is the first to break the silence, sighing loudly. "I know you don't want to talk about it, Yoongi. But eventually you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that he's not here. You can't keep doing thi-"

"I'll do it. I swear I will. Just please," My voice cracks, tears blurring my vision. "Don't make me think about it right now."

Jin rushes to my side, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "You can't push him so far, Joon," he whispers angrily. "Would you be able to just deal with it if I was gone?" Namjoon doesn't offer him an answer, his silence speaking for him. "I didn't think so."

Jin turns me to look at him, his hand coming up to wipe a stray tear that had rolled down my face. "We don't understand your pain, so it was wrong of him to tell you how to deal with it." He places his hands on my cheeks. "You just do what you need to do and we'll support you no matter what." He glares at Namjoon over my shoulder. "Won't we, Namjoon?"

"You know I didn't mean it li-"

"Won't we?"

"Yes, we will," Namjoon grumbles.

I pull back, trying to regain my composure. It wasn't often that I let my walls down and sitting here without them, my friends watching me with pity, felt wrong. I thank Jin, giving him a small nod of my head. He grins, patting my head like a child. Standing, he brushes off his knees. "Now," he puts his hands on his hips, "Who wants cake?"