KEEP IT REAL WITH ME

FORGIVE NOT FORGET

Looking down there at Victor still down there on his knees with the most beautiful ring I could have dreamed of.  So many emotions ran through my head, anger and somewhat joy. I have never had someone show me so much affection, so much passion but also have not been so deceived. This man lied about being married and still was legally married. He lied about where his children were and he was going to possibly have sex with his wife that night he got busted. I should kick him right in the face as he knelt there but a small part of me wanted to kiss him as well. I did the only thing I could do at that moment and asked him to leave. Victor would not leave when I asked him. He got up with the box and told me, "you do not have to answer me right now. I know that you are mad at me and I know I deserve the anger you are putting out but that does not change the love that you have for me." I then got angry because I knew I was about to break so I then yelled "GET THE FUCK OUT MY PLACE OR I CAN REMOVE YOU!" He looked at me and just smiled and said "you and I both know you love me to much to hurt me---, before he could finish that statement I reached for my metal bat that I kept near my bed and swung it. He ducked just in time and I ended up hitting a mirror above his head. He dropped the box and ran out the door. Eventually I can forgive him but I do not have to forget.

I know I should have handled that situation without violence but I could not. I called Tracy and told her everything and she must have been so into my story that she didn't say much. I decided that I would take a shower and get ready to go out with her. We planned to go out tonight to take my mind off things. We went to this great spot that had some great music and great drink specials. I was dancing with Tracy for a while and then decided she was too much for me. She kept throwing it back on me and we were giving the club quite a show. Tracy got the hint that I was not able to keep up and decided to join these group of girls twerking in the middle of the dance floor. I must have had about 4 drinks that night and I was feeling so damn good at that moment but wanted more of a buzz, so I ordered two more, bad idea. I was dancing to the throwback jam they played and started to feel the room spin. I ran to the bathroom and had to let go of some of what I had drank. It was getting late and I was now ready to go that all I really remembered and I woke up the next day with my clothes missing. I tried to gather my thoughts and saw my underwear on the nightstand. I grabbed it and was about to grab my phone when I heard someone in the bathroom.  I began to replay last nights event and tried to remember more. I remembered that Tracy had got me to my room but that was about it and then a wave of worry went across my mind. Did I sleep with Tracy, was that her in the bathroom? I didn't have to wonder who was in there for long before the door swung open and there stood Victor and his whole naked body before he said, "Good Morning baby".

I tried to shake my head a couple of times to wake up from this bad dream. "How did you get back in here", I asked. He looked confused and then said, "you don't remember? You texted me at about 3am last night telling me that you missed me. I immediately called you and you were crying and said that Tracy had left you alone in room and you needed my company. I was skeptical at first because of how you tried to hit a home run with my head earlier but you seemed like you forgave me." My jaw was on the floor by this point. From what I could gather from my sore ass and the scattering of my clothes is that we must have had sex. I looked at the time and saw it was almost noon. I sat up and Victor sat beside me and kissed me and I tried to pull away but it felt so good. I got the strength to push him and told him that last night/early this morning, I was not in my right mind. He then explained to me that drunk people are usually honest and explained to me I talked to him over the phone as he was on his way here and how I told him that I forgave him. I got up,  put on some shorts and went into the kitchen. I was so thirsty. I grabbed a glass of water and as I reached for it I saw a shiny item on my left ring finger.

I ran back to the bed where Victor was when I realized that it was that big ass engagement ring he had for me. "Victor, what the hell happened?" He looked at me as if I had lost it and said "baby, you told me that you were ready to be my husband so I went over to where I left dropped the box which contained the ring and put it on you. It was not as romantic as I would have wanted it to be but it was still the answer I had been waiting for." I took my hand and planted it on my forehead. Did I really just agree to marry this lying asshole and why have I not kicked him out again yet?

Victor cooked me some breakfast and I just sat on my bed in a daze. Never mix dark and light liquor because you end up with this shit right here, I thought. I am going to deal with Tracy later for leaving me here alone to drunk text and call. Victor bought the breakfast to my bed and I was so hungover I had no choice but to eat his damn creations. As I was eating I realized that this food was so good and not just because I was hungry. I mean he went all out pancakes, eggs, bacon, fresh squeezed orange juice, hash browns and fruit.  He looked me in my eyes and told me that he loved me. I don't know why I didn't just stay silent and told him "I love you too Victor." From that point on it is like I didn't have control of me anymore. I leaned into him and kissed him, I cried a little but I still kissed him. He took it from there and we continued what we had started this morning, at least this time I would remember all the freaky shit I did.