Brian Saves the World, Maybe

Chapter 21 - The Observer

"I'm sorry, Brian."

Brian froze solid. He has a gun!

Then something rumbled from deep within his core. He began to draw something out of his inner depths. Was it courage? Strength?

He puked all over the parking lot.

In a sort of trance, Brian studied the pavement, identifying different components of his lunch.

"Brian! What the heck?!" Dale got out of the van and came around. "Didn't get any on my van, did you?"

Brian continued to stare at the ground for a moment, before slowly looking up at Dale.

It took Brian a few seconds for it to register. He wasn't pink. "What? But..."

"You okay, man?" Dale was keeping his distance.

Brian wiped his mouth on his sleeve, breathing heavily. "I thought you were... Never mind. Must have been something I ate."

"Looks like it's everything you ate," Dale said, surveying the debris with a grim expression.

Brian sighed. "Why did you want to meet here?"

Dale's expression shifted. He looked... was it embarrassed? "Yeah. About that."

Dale went back around the van and got something out of the driver's side. Again, Brian heard the clicking sound.

Dale returned, holding a black canvas bag, and handed it to Brian.

He looked inside. It contained a loose pile of plastic and metal parts. He shook the bag a little, and heard the same sound, although it didn't sound nearly as much like a gun now that he knew where it was coming from. "What is this?"

Dale coughed, looking over Brian's head as he said, "When I opened up the phone... This happened."

Brian gazed at the contents of the bag again, in shock. "What? Did you use a hammer or something?"

He coughed again. Dale clearly wasn't used to being embarrassed.

* * *

After running home to get cleaned up, Brian returned to work to continue his search for the Observer.

He had decided to conduct an IT equipment audit, a perfect excuse to tour all the areas of the company without raising suspicion. He grabbed his laptop and put the Smart Glasses on.

"Hey, nice specs, Boss."

Ralph was standing in his office doorway. He was wearing a Superman shirt.

"Uh, thanks. What are you up to?"

"Came for some jellies. Jack's printer is acting up. Then need to pick up one of the robovacs in Pam's office."

Brian shuddered at the thought of Pamela, the scary woman from Accounting. He hadn't crossed paths with her since she filled in for Jessica at the front desk. "What's wrong with the vacuum?"

"Not sure. She just put in a ticket saying she wanted it picked up asap."

Brian scratched his head. "I was already planning to visit Accounting today, so I'll take care of it." He figured starting there was as good a place as any.

* * *

When Brian reached the accounting department, Pamela wasn't at her desk. He began surveying the area's IT equipment and recording the information in his laptop.

"What are you doing?" The voice came from behind him.

He turned, to see Pamela, hands on her hips, shrouded in a pink aura.

Brian froze, and just stood there gawking, unsure what to do next.

Say something.

He opened his mouth to speak.

"And why are you wearing those ridiculous glasses?" Pamela said.

"Oh," Brian said, taking the glasses off, "Hi there. I am conducting an IT equipment audit, and—"

"Who authorized this?" Pamela broke in, "I wasn't notified." She pinched her lips together so tightly they resembled a cat's anus.

"Well, I don't think this requires authoriz—"

"We'll see about that. Stay right there!" She marched to her desk and began mashing buttons on her phone.

"Hey, uh, while I'm here, I believe you put in a ticket about one of the robovacs?"

Pamela stopped punching buttons for a moment. "Yes. It's in the closet over there," she said, pointing. "I want it out of here."

He moved to the closet, and found the little vacuum upside-down, under a small pile of crumpled paper. This one was labeled, "Loki." He picked it up and began inspecting it. "So, what's the problem with it?"

"It is the problem! I told Jack when he ordered these that I didn't approve. I think they are IT's way of spying on us."

Brian frowned. "Spying?"

"I'm not an idiot. I know they make cameras small enough to put on those things."

Brian bit his lip. "But, why would we want to spy on Accounting?"

"Enough. Just get that thing out of here!"

Holding a hand up in surrender, Brian took the opportunity to get away.