Better Than This

34

"So, here's what you do." Savvy plops on my bed with a Ben & Jerrys carton. "You go in tomorrow all like, yeah, I know boys get in fights over me. So, what? And you act like that—like you're maybe even a little proud of it—and then just don't look at them."

"Don't look at them?"

"You know, don't wait for their reaction. Because no matter what you do, everyone's going to talk." She takes a bite of ice-cream. "We are in high school."

"I don't care about them. I care about him."

"He's going to be fine."

I shake my head as I pace my room, pulling at my fingers. "They, like, really went at it. Hard. You should've seen it—"

"Yeah. I wish I had. It's the most badass thing to happen and where was I? Getting a lecture about grammar from Mrs. Anderson. The first fight in school history involves you, and I was stuck listening to the proper use of a comma."

I sit down next to her. "Do you think he's going to get suspended?"

"It was after school."

"On school property."

Savvy lifts a shoulder.

Chewing my lip, I glance at my computer, eyeing my BuddyList. I've been waiting for him to get online since Savvy and I got here. I've been dying to talk to him, dying to know how he is, know how he's feeling, and AIM would be the best way without sounding too eager. But he hasn't gotten on yet.

"Look," she puts the carton down, "the boy broke up with his girlfriend for you, so you should really be stoked. Like, where's the excitement?"

"Why would I be excited? We're not together, and he got in a fight."

"Over you."

I jump from my bed and grab the house phone, staring down at the dial pad. 222-6467. I've never actually called him—only texted—but I know his number by heart. I think I memorized it that Saturday we went grocery shopping. I must've stared at his name and number for a good hour before we headed over to Corey's.

Rubbing my thumb over the rubber numbers, I imagine what I would say. I imagine having that conversation right now, with Savvy listening. The thought stops me, and I toss the phone on the bed. I glance at my cell. "Maybe I'll text him."

"And say what?"

"See how he's doing." I walk around the bed, reaching for the small device. I bring up his name, my finger pausing over the envelope icon.

"You should just invite him over. I'll go." Savvy jumps up and grabs her carton of Ben & Jerrys. "Mom expected me home twenty minutes ago anyway."

"She's going to ground you one of these days—you know she is."

"No, she isn't. She says being around you is a good influence, so as long as I'm here, I'm golden." Savvy smiles with a wink. She grabs her bag off the floor and tosses the strap over one shoulder. "Let me know how it works out." She heads out of my room and down the hall, and I follow her to the front of the house. "And if y'all start making out and whatever, make sure he uses a condom."

"Yeah, um," I open the door for her, "we're probably not going to have sex, but I appreciate the advice."

"Here."

I look into her open palm and find a small square wrapper. A condom. Is she actually offering me one? What does she think I'm going to do? Alex is probably at home nursing a busted lip. The last thing he'll be thinking about is sex. "I don't need—"

"Maybe not today. But you never know."

I shake my head.

"Just take it." She pushes it into my hand. "That way you'll be prepared...for whatever situation comes your way."

"Well, thanks." I shove it in my back pocket.

"You're welcome." She walks out of the house, throwing me one more look. "6:50?"

I nod at her morning return time and close the door.

Once Savvy's gone, I walk back to my room and stare at my cell. Text him. I should definitely text him. But I need more than that. I need more than vague one-word answers. I want to make sure he's okay. I want to hear him say it.

Reaching for the house phone, I type in his number. Bringing the device to my ear, I wait, my heart pounding harder with each ring. He picks up on the third one.

"Hello?"

"Hey." I speak softly, hoping he doesn't hear me. Why am I embarrassed to be calling him? "It's Autumn."

"Hey." His word is a relief.

The sound of his voice over the phone may be my new favorite thing. Why haven't I called him before? Or maybe I was waiting for him to call me? It doesn't matter at this point. Texting and AIM are fine, but in the future, I'm calling first.

I hold the phone closer. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

He doesn't sound too enthusiastic, and I remember why. Sean didn't hold back. He wailed on his friend while Alex kind of took it—until the end there. I think of his bleeding lip, wondering what shape it's in.

"Alex!" Someone shouts in the background. It sounds like an older man—his dad? "What'd I tell you about that damn phone? Off. Now."

"I have to go."

"I'm so sorry. About—about everything."

He pauses, and I hold my breath. Someone in the background calls for him again. "I'll see you tomorrow." He hangs up.

I frown at the phone before I toss it on my bed,wondering what tomorrow will bring.