Second Guessed

Chapter 5

I changed too much too fast. That was why the world decided to knock me on my ass a bit, show me that I was being too cocky.

That's why the hunk of meat slipped out of my hands that afternoon, a week after the fire. The boys stared at me, I never dropped meat. I was almost as bad as Luffy when it came to making sure food was never wasted. But there the hunk sat, gathering dirt on the ground.

My hands wouldn't form fists.

I panicked. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't! My words were not bullshit, I would become a badass powerhouse and make a name for myself, I would be Luffy's first mate, I'd keep changing the world!

But my hands wouldn't obey me.

"Maven! Maven, take a deep breath. Deep breaths! Ace, Luffy, go to Dadan's and tell them we need the doctor! Now!" Sabo yelled out. He had been studying Ursurper's for the past couple days so that he's be able to help me better, he said.

My hands wouldn't close. Why wouldn't they close? I would feel them... they were there. I could feel the heat of Sabo's hands as he cupped mine, as he shook my hands to try to get my attention. But all I could do was twitch them. Twitch as hard as I could.

I couldn't swing Stormfall without my hands and fingers. I couldn't slap Luffy or Ace when they were being idiots. I couldn't steal treasure for our stash, or punch someone who tried to ambush us on our way through the Dump. I needed my hands. I needed them, and they weren't listening to me.

"Maven! Calm down, you're panicking! Don't hyperventilate— Maven!"

"Get your head out of the clouds, kid. You won't survive if you can't focus on what needs to be done," a familiar female voice called out sharply, making me jolt to attention. I swung my eyes up to her, the doctor I saw every season. She was in her home clothes, a loose shirt and pajama pants under a light green knit cardigan. Luffy probably ran with Dogura or one of the other bandits and dragged her here. The thought of my sibling's antics calmed me. I took a deep breath, getting a nod of approval from the doctor.

"Good. Give me your hands, I need to check how much strength you have left in them," she spoke sternly, not at all like the soft voices I had been spoken to with from other doctors. It grounded me. I needed the harshness to wake me up, to keep me from slipping into panic again. The woman grabbed my hands, twisting them to and fro and asking for me to do simple things. Can you flex your thumb? Can you wiggle your fingers? How far can you bend your pinkie?

"It's not hopeless," she spoke finally, sitting back on the balls of her feet. "Not for you. For anyone else, probably. But I have a good measure of you, miss Maven. You will need to work your finger muscles specifically, your palm muscles are still in tact almost completely. It's a common mistake, of unfortunately. Finger muscles are hard to train on their own."

"How can we help her get her strength back?" Ace asked, voice small. I could see the burning worry mixing with equally hot hatred in his eyes, and I knew what was happening. He was blaming our father. Our father had the disease first, likely it was his fault I had come down with it as well. But Ace didn't need much of a reason to hate our father even more. I wish I could do something, but I couldn't even feed myself at that moment.

"The fingers stopped responding because of a slight loss of muscle over a certain threshold—" yeah, good luck getting any of the boys other than Sabo to understand that, lady. "If we can get her stress balls, maybe rubber bands too. Here," the woman pulled out a thousand belly note, handing it to Ace. "The Gates should still be open. Go into town, and go to a toy store. There should be soft foam balls, get a few in different sizes. Ones that can be held in your palm, and then some that are a little bigger. If you can find rubber bands too, that would help."