30 Days of H2OVanoss

December 3rd - Hate and Hope

"This is my first time at the ice rink and I've fallen on my butt at least 34 times so far but you keep skating around me like a fuckin' pro."

—

"Oh for fuck sake!" Came the irritated shout as Jonathan once again fell, landing on his ass for the tenth time since they'd made it to the ice rink. A chorus of laughter followed, which only frustrated him even more and so he stayed sitting on the ice, pouting like a small child.

Evan watched with an amused smile, gliding smoothly in a circle around the group of guys. "Come on man, it's not that hard."

"Yeah you'll get it eventually." Brock said, offering Delirious his hand and pulling him up.

Jonathan begrudgingly took his hand and got shakily to his feet, the frown remaining on his face. "Yeah well it's kind of hard to concentrate when this bitch is skating around the place like he's a fucking pro." He complained, waving an arm in Evan's general direction.

"Delirious it's your first time ice skating, we're not judging you." Brian added skating across to stand beside Brock. "Besides, Evan's Canadian, of course he skates like a pro."

Jonathan muttered something under his breath and tried once more to skate forward. Evan cut across sharply, blocking him off. "What was that?"

"I said you're a bitch." Jonathan snickered, pushing himself away from Evan. The backwards motion caused him to lose his balance and once again he landed backside first on the hard ice.

"That is like the thirty fourth freaking time I've fallen. What am I doing wrong?!" He cried out exasperatedly.

"Just let me help you Delirious" Evan sighed, bending down and yanking the older man up before he could protest, keeping a firm grip on his wrists once he was upright.

"I'm not holding your damn hands Evan!"

"Suit yourself." Evan shrugged, letting go of Jonathan's wrists.

Jonathan lost his balance almost immediately. "No, no, no. I take it back!" He cried, desperately grabbing a hold of Evan who caught him with ease.

"Are you going to be a bitch about this the whole time?"

"Yep."

Evan rolled his eyes even though he wasn't expecting any other answer. "Come on then." He grabbed a hold of Jonathan's hands. "Just take it easy and glide towards me. You're being too clunky in the way you place your feet."

Jonathan slowly slid forward, biting his tongue in concentration.

Brian and Brock, who had been watching the exchange with amused smiles, glanced at each other, Brian smirking mischievously. "Aw would you look at the cute couple!" He cooed, "Holding hands while they ice skate!"

"It's just so romantic!" Brock joined in, pretending to wipe away a fake tear.

Jonathan felt his face flush and he glared at Evan's chest, determined to block them out and not make eye contact with Evan. Evan was just a friend.

Evan seemed to be blocking them out too, focusing on how Jonathan was skating. "See, look! You're doing it."

"I am?" Jonathan asked, looking at his hands that Evan had let go of without him realising. "I am!"

He grinned and the guys cheered him on as he continued forward. He looked up and met Evan's eyes which were looking at him proudly and damn there it was. That swooping feeling in his gut that hated so much.

oOo

"Hey" Jonathan felt Evan nudge his shoulder lightly. "You okay?"

Jonathan nodded distractedly, "M'fine."

Evan frowned, "You've barely said a word since we got home, what's going on?"

"I'm just thinking." He shrugged, staring pointedly at his knees and not Evans face.

"You know they were only mucking around right?" Evan asked, nodding towards Brock and Brian who were across the room, arguing about their favourite movie.

"Yep. Just a joke."

"Jonathan." Evan pried, "You know you can talk to me."

He shook his head, "I don't want to. Not now."

Evan sighed but didn't continue to argue, instead placing an arm around the brooding man where it stayed for the rest of the night, unaware of the conflict it was causing his best friend.

Jonathan hated himself for feeling so safe with Evan's arm around him and he hated the way Evan kept looking at him those concerned brown eyes and he especially hated the hope that soared in his chest when Evan hugged him good night and he felt Evan's fingers softly trace a pattern on the small of his back comfortingly. "Get some sleep. We're talking in the morning."

Maybe he wasn't just a friend.