Humanity

Voices

My homework tormented me as I stared down the piece of paper, trying to comprehend the work set for us.

"Arghhh!" I screamed in frustration, "I don't get it." My brain screamed as I tried to do my work.

"What if you fail?" the nagging sadistic voice of my anxiety spoke up from the deep trenches caved over in my mind

I replied my voice weak, "I won't."

It replied as if it was smiling, "What if you get a D?"

"What if they all laugh at you for getting an F?"

The voice continued to mock me as I screamed, "I won't."

Yet again it replied but instead a different voice spoke up, "You're worthless."

The voice that haunts my nightmares screamed, making my head throb-depression.

"I'm not." My voice seemed to be unrecognizable as it sounded beat up and weak.

"Yes, you are, go look at yourself." It commented sending my spiraling through the thoughts embedded in the depths of my mind. I looked into the mirror and touched my stomach.

"What if your boyfriend is cheating on you?" anxiety spoke up again, making me feel even worse. Not that it mattered anymore. "See, fat, ugly and should just disappear. I don't even know why you bother anymore. No one loves you." The words rested heavily, embedded in my mind as my depression kept talking to me., "All your friends hate you."

"What if you have no friends? What if they are all lying?" anxiety's words hit home as I walked back clutching my head.

"Get out of my head! You aren't real!" I screamed my body aching as the words settled in.

"No one cares." They both screamed at me as I sunk to the floor, tears flowing down my cheeks.

Shacking I whispered weakly, "What do I do?"
Depression replied in a dull voice, "End it."

The words sunk in sending me down the trek to where insanity and abnormal meet. The words made me feel numb. Nothing was important. The voices controlled my mind of every second of every day. No one loved me. I didn't want to do it anymore. I couldn't be here. I want to go. No one would miss me. I'm worthless.

"I don't want to." I replied meekly, not even believing my own words.

"Yes, you do! The nagging voice at the back of your mind and the itching in your fingers. You want to do it." The voice continued to put me down until everything felt numb. Even death sounded less painless than the suffering of depression and anxiety.

"What do I do?" I shakily let out. Grasping my hair, tugging harshly as I regretted everything, myself.

"Mum's bathroom cabinet." It ghostly whispered. The words echoing throughout my mind as I walked and opened the cabinet.

I rummaged through the prescriptions until I picked up a small bottle.

"Are these strong enough?" I quickly let out.

"Take them all!" it replied, voice harsher and more demeaning.

"Your friends are here... What on earth are you doing?" my mother gasped.

I quickly shoved the tablets into my back pocket, "Just getting some uhhh soap for my bathroom. I'll be done in a minute. Don't worry I'm fine."

Mum just stared me down as she didn't quite believe the lie, "Alight."

"You can't run from this forever." The voice spoke with resentment.

I just looked at the bottle of tablets and pocketed them, "I know.