Chapter 4

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Smoking? Have I ever Smoked. Will Yea Of course I smoked in 6,7,8 Grade 3 years. I know Smoking it bad but If people can try it why can't I? Man Can Do it why cant women. Ever since my life I thought hey Man Smoke and that fits them but to women no because there supposedly have to be Nice and Pretty women and it won't match.

When I started I felt like I was about to die! I was choking while I smoked and tried to keep the smoke in my mouth

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When I started I felt like I was about to die! I was choking while I smoked and tried to keep the smoke in my mouth. My friends were laughing how stupid and dumb I looked like while smoking and Maybe choking to death. Hey it was my first try so Of course I looked funny and Stupid while doing it. And Those friends still remembered that exact day. I was the clown in my friends group and Math class in 6 grade because My brother did something I don't fuckin know. 7th grade I did Weed 8th grade I did weed with my friends But I was still not happy or alive. I guess you could say that I was depressed and Into drugs. Ohh Boyy in 8th grade...Bro It fucked me up.
I was happy in the few months and more few months until everything changed. I didn't sleep At all I was sad But I had to fuckin smile! I guees I was Two face or spley personality No It was my life. My Mother Became worse I was Hurt But I still carried around and Carried the pain. When The Day I came back to school I didn't feel like myself I never did What Am I saying! Anyways Everyone looked like strangers to me Everyone looked dangerous and No one to trust. I had Headaches and I was stressed when I came back home! I was sleepy and I looked at myself on the wall. That dumb Stupid Me!! In that Picture! I'm Stupid never Smart thats what everyone says! And I made myself look nice! and Happy!!

December 5th, 2004

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