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CHAPTER EIGHT | ENTANGLEMENT
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when i fall in love, it will be forever.
-sense and sensibility // jane austen
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"Can I ask you a question?"
"No."
"What? Why not?"
"It's almost three, Steve. That's why."
"Lame."
"Go to sleep."
"But I'm not tired."
"That doesn't sound like my problem."
"You're mean when you're tired, Jack."
"What's it gonna take to get you to be quiet?"
"The floor is very uncomfortable!"
Groaning, Jackie sat up in her bed and glanced down at the floor. Despite the darkness in the room, she could make out the outline of Steve's face and the white shine of his teeth grinning up at her. She pursed her lips and made a big show of patting the empty side of the bed.
"Come on," she said, biting the inside of her lip to stop herself from smiling.
"I knew all Catholic girls were secretly freaks," Steve said with an accompanying cackle as he jumped over her to get on the empty side of the bed.
"I will kick you out," Jackie said, with no venom in her voice.
She knew he knew it was an empty threat. There was silence for a moment while he got comfortable on the mattress. In the darkness, little thoughts about Steve and his behavior began to seep into Jackie's mind.
"Hey, Steve?"
"Yeah?"
"You can ask me a question if I can ask you one."
Jackie was lying flat on her back, staring up at her ceiling that had been swallowed by swollen darkness. Beside her, Steve shifted onto his side, propping his head up with his elbow and fist.
"How come you've never kissed anyone?"
Thanking the night for hiding her blush, Jackie scoffed loudly. "Why do you care?"
"I don't." The tightness of his voice told Jackie something different, but she didn't know why. "It's just— you're kind of the funniest, smartest, prettiest girl I've ever met and it doesn't make sense to me."
A feeling Jackie hadn't realized she could feel blossomed in her chest and erupted through her body, shattering her soul. Her tongue darted out and swiped across her bottom lip as she turned her head to face Steve's.
"You offering?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking.
"What? No," he spluttered, suddenly embarrassed.
Something sank in the pit of Jackie's stomach.
"Did you want me to be?"
"Please," Jackie said, bitterness seeping into her voice. "You're much too stuck on Nancy Wheeler for me to want you to kiss me."
And that was the twisted truth. Sometimes, Jackie thought Steve might feel some sort of something for her, but then she caught the way he looked at Nancy Wheeler. He looked like a kicked puppy when he stared longingly after her chestnut curls, and that was why Jackie realized she never stood a chance. So, she'd keep her dignity and her kisses to herself.
She didn't want to be a sideshow attraction. She wanted to mean something to someone.
She wasn't sure if that was the truth, but she knew Steve was by no means a virgin. And Nancy Wheeler wasn't even the only girl he'd had sex with. There was nothing wrong with that, Jackie supposed, but they were just so different in their experiences.
"I won't."
"Ugh," Jackie groaned. "Fine." She raised a hand to her face and scratched just below her eyebrow. "I just— I want to mean something to the people I kiss and have sex with. And I just haven't meant something to someone yet... and no one's meant something to me. I just don't want to waste my time, you know? I have better things to do then fall over someone who isn't serious about me."
There was a passing moment of quiet, with no sound except the steam radiator in the corner of the room, and Jackie was sure Steve was going to laugh at her.
But then his hand found hers amongst the blankets and in a thick, gulping voice, he said, "I think that's really sweet."
At times like this, Jackie was almost sure Steve felt something for her. After all, why else would he hold her hand and want to sleep at her house? Nancy Wheeler's house was wide open for the taking. But Steve wanted to be with Jackie when he didn't want to be alone. That had to mean something... didn't it?
"I get to ask you my question now."
"I suppose you do."
"Steve..." Jackie's voice lost itself in her throat. "The night of Kelly's party you said something about monsters and I know you don't like being alone or with your parents and I just— you don't need to tell me anything but I need you to tell me you're okay."
His hand squeezed hers but he said nothing. Seconds ticked by and Jackie was sure Steve was not going to say anything for the rest of the night.
"I wish I could tell you everything," Steve whispered with a shaking voice. In the dark, his eyes glistened. "But I'm okay. You help."
"I help?" Jackie asked. "How do I help?"
Again, his fingers tightened around hers. "You're you." His voice was barely audible, but every word fell and settled atop Jackie's burning skin. "You don't judge. You don't ask questions. You just... let me exist."
Jackie gulped and shifted her hand so their fingers were interlocked.
"I care about you, Jackie Hanlon."
Closing her eyes, Jackie shifted towards him and pressed her cheek against his chest. His free hand looped over her waist and pressed itself flat against her back. Through the thin material of her t-shirt, Jackie could feel his palm burning. As he pulled her close, she prayed she wouldn't fall through him.
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If you have any semblance of good taste, go see Bohemian Rhapsody. #RamiMalekOscarWhen
Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter because we stan tenderness in my house
