A Novel Rejection

Chapter 3

The slam of a door rung through the apartment complex. To anyone, they would have thought that someone was having a rough day. To say that it was a bad day was an understatement.

Kathryn stormed into her apartment in a fit of rage. So many thoughts were whirling in her head. A storm was beginning to brew. Pacing across the floor, heart beating with every step. Incoherent mumbles were thrown out.

"I mean, you think that you know a guy for so long and he just does this. How can he be such a dick?"

She didn't do anything wrong. At least, that's what she thought. The once inner rage began to turn into self-doubt. What if she was actually a psychopath? Was Robert the real victim after all? Was the supposedly love actually torture?

Looking down at the key to her questions, her hands began to shake with anxiety. Turning to a random page, the words made her eyes brim with tears.

         Our relationship wasn't perfect, no relationship is. But she tried to hard to make it perfect. She wanted everything, and I could only do so much to please her. Expensive dates. Long walks on the beach. She wanted to have the fairytale and I wanted to be free. I was sick and tired of feeling tortured. So I left.

Wiping away the tears, she went to read the next line but was cut off by a vibrating feeling in her pocket. Grabbing her phone, the caller ID said the main bish. Swiping right, her best friend began to chat her ear off.

"Hey, girl! The gang and I were wondering if you'd want to go get drinks?"

Kathryn stayed silent. How could anyone like her? She was a monster. An obsessive manipulative monster.

"I think I'm just going to stay home tonight. Go have fun without me."

"Are you sure? You're usually down to go drink some good tequila"

"I'm fine. Really, I am."

"Okay, whatever you say girlfriend. Bye."

Hanging up, Kathryn lazily threw her phone onto the kitchen counter. Her mind was blank. Nothing went through it and she didn't care. Her legs were taking her to her comfort place. The fridge. Opening the aluminum doors to heaven, she thought she saw Jesus. Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Ice Cream.

Grabbing the devious treat, she reached into a cabinet to find the biggest spoon she could find. A ladle. Popping off the lid, she lazily walked a few feet to her living room. The couch was officially her new best friend. Ladle in hand, she started shovel heaps of delectable cream into her mouth. Her mind and heart were still not satisfied.

"What if I never get a boyfriend? Maybe I'm just one of those girls who'll live with six cats at the age of sixty. Man, this sucks!"

She didn't want to be alone. Wanting to feel the love that she never got. Since the beginning, she never even had a manly figure in her life. Her father left. Robert left. Everyone abandoned her. And it was her fault.

Looking up at the tv, she saw her reflection. Mascara stain running down her cheeks. Eyes puffy. Chocolate covering the outer corners of her mouth. It was disgusting. How could she just sit there and feel so selfish? She ruined everyone's lives and didn't even know it.

No tears left to cry, Kathryn's body started to convulse with every breath. She wasn't worthy of love, how could she deserve something she wanted so badly? Her head was dipped in between her legs, finally accepting what she was. An unloveable beast.