Underneath a Dark Moon (Twisted Dark #3)

Chapter Nineteen: Reunited

I was pacing, back and forth across the motel room but I couldn't stop myself. It had been hours since Lacey had been taken by her sister and I had no access to her, no news about how she was doing and it was driving me insane. My instinct wasn't even speaking to me anymore, it just constantly scraped across my bones and nerves, jabbing at me incessantly to find her and take care of her. My beast growled and rumbled, the feeling deep inside me seemed to be driving him. It was as if he had claimed her as his but we both knew it wasn't the truth but he didn't seem to care.

I was worried and I wasn't going to pretend I wasn't. I was worried about the small witch I had put underneath my protection, the one that I had wanted with an intensity that shook me. She had awoken something deep in my soul and it drove me towards her, demanded I take possession of her, to hold her close, to never let her go.

She threatened to destroy everything I had planned in my life, she threatened to destroy it all. Cherri had warned me, had told me the past should stay in the past and that bedding her would ruin me but I still ached to grab Lacey and pull her close. The thought should have scared me, should have made me rethink everything I wanted from the little witch but I couldn't find it in me to try.

So I paced, trying to figure it out, trying to work through the worry and fear for her with the consequences of what feeling those for her meant. I knew I couldn't actually think without her close, without having that access to her, but I still tried. I needed to do something or I was going to go out of my mind. I couldn't actually want to keep her, right? Worry and fear spoke of a connection that went deeper than want, it meant a connection that lead to forever.

Was I willing to go that far? I wanted her, I did. I wanted her underneath me, wanted her moaning and limp from blissful pleasure but did I want to bring her into that type of fucked up world? No one would accept her and I as a pairing, werewolves wouldn't care but she would continually be threatened by her own kind. She would never be allowed back into the Covens, wouldn't be allowed to see her family again, and there would be a price tag on her head at all times.

My instinct shuddered and scraped across my bones in a harsh refusal of allowing that to happen. Even my beast bared his teeth stretching inside of my as if wanting to be released to wreak havoc on those who would dare try to harm her but I knew the question needed to be asked. Was I willing to take that on? To bring her into that situation where all eyes would be on her and she would get no peace, no safety, from those she had once resided beside? I ground my teeth together because I felt stuck.

I wasn't willing to bring her into that but then that highlighted just how much she had gotten underneath my skin and how much I did not wish to let her go. If I cared for her enough to wish to protect her from all forms of harm, then I cared for her in a way that could not be replaced or duplicated. I cursed heavily, a growl rumbling my chest as it built in intensity. I didn't want to bring her more harm or danger but if I let her go she took every chance I had at a future with her.

I wasn't stupid. Cherri had told me all I needed to hear. My soul, or a part of it, was within me to try and repeat the past, to fix what had gone wrong the last time. That was what was driving me towards the dainty and fine witchling, that piece of soul recognized something within her and drew me towards her and it would forever do so. I didn't like not having control over my life, I didn't like having my life dictated to me by things outside of my control but I knew there were worse fates I could have than Lacey.

She was the hinge point of it. Either I could let her go and continue on as I was or I could keep her and have my entire life shifted and changed without warning. The growl in my chest grew to a heavy rumble as I paced the length of the room. I didn't want to change, I liked my easy life but I also knew that shaking off my craving for the little witchling would be nearly impossible. I was stuck.