Another Me, and You

Fragment No. 2

He feels like a stranger in his own room. It feels like a nightmare that hasn't stop playing inside his head. People keep assuring him that his memory would come back, but Arthit had a feeling that it won't ever be back. like it shouldn't be happened in the first place. There was a persistent cold around him nowadays, he can't feel warm whatever ways he did to lessen the cold.

Classes are hard, because he was sure he hadn't study about them. And he missed out being a head hazer, but he managed. His friends help him, and he was thankful of that. But he can't help wanting to wipe the pity their eyes showed whenever they were with him.

What is it? what is it that he forgotten about, now?!

..Kongphob, finally he found his answer. He got his phone back, because the screen was cracked and some of the parts needed to be replaced. But the memory of it, there was none missing. And boy, there was so much pictures of him with that stranger guy he slept with. There were texts too. Lots of it. Arthit beg to differ, then. Where the hell was his supposed lover be, right now?

..he was there, Arthit found out. He watched Arthit from his window, and Arthit saw him one night. There was a sadness on his face, and longing. So Arthit stared at him back, daring him to do something.

Is he a coward? Arthit begins to wonder. Why was Kongphob still won't do anything? He doesn't even introduced himself again. So he demanded to Knot for an answer.

"He wants you to chose, Ai' Arthit. And maybe, hoping that your memory to get back." his friend said.

"Then.. what would happen when it doesn't go back?" he asked.

"Well, it's for you to choose, don't you think?"

..Arthit think his friend is not helping.

****

"Hey, you." Arthit stood in front of the freshmen. Kongphob looked back at him, a flash of apprehension on his eyes. "With me." Was what Arthit said to him as he turned and walk away, knowing that his junior would follow him.

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Arthit scolded the younger man harshly. A bitter smile was all he got from the junior. "You're a man, right? Am I wrong thinking that I suddenly have a boyfriend who, right after I have amnesia, chose to hide in the shadow?"

Kongphong hung his head low. Arthit feels like it was only him who cares about this supposedly relationship. He doesn't know how he could suddenly have a feeling for a man, as he is still sure he likes girls. He wants to know, how he could fall to this guy, who is even younger than him!

"..you were gone." A soft voice came.

"Huh?"

"You were gone when I woke up." Kongphob look up and stare at him, anguish clearly displayed on his eyes. It hurts Arthit to see them.

"I thought.." a bitter smile again bloomed on the junior's face. "I thought you regret it. that it was too soon. Even.. even we only did that. So I berated myself to force myself to you. But then.. but then P' Knot called me at night, telling me that you.." he can't finished the story. A tear falls on his cheek that makes Arthit's hand itched to wipe it off his face.

"Next thing I knew, you.. you forgot about me. So I think I got the answer. That you're better without me." Arthit doesn't know why, but an irritation bubbling inside him hearing the junior's explanation.

"Don't play a martyr!" he roared. "Who are you to decide for me?! Are we that close that you can do that to me?! Do you think I would be happy that you chose to hide away? Have you ever think about my feeling when I found out about the pictures inside my phone? And forcing Ai' Knot to tell me about you? What a joke!"

He decided to leave. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Kongphob was right that he regrets being with the younger man.

They didn't talk again after that.

Months rolled by until the students faced the finals for the end of the school term. There was a long break that Arthit doesn't know what to do with.

He got back to his home, his parents welcoming him. he could only pasted a slight smile.

He was not happy.

Too many holes inside his head.

****