Another Me, and You

Fragment No. 5

Kongphob offered him a pinkmilk as soon as he open the door for the junior, with a shy smile but a determination clearly showed in his eyes. This, was the beginning of Kongphob tried to persistently flirt with him. in every chance he got. His friends snickers and joked about it, telling him he brought it upon himself for this 'miserable fate'.

Well, fuck you too, Ai' Bright and Ai' Prem. At least Arthit has someone interested with him whole-heartedly.

The more time he spent with Kongphob, the guiltier he became.

One day, Arthit found out the pipe in his room broke after both of them spent some time in the library (stop snickering, Ai' Bright! We're going to study!). it was already evening, and all of Arthit's belonging got drenched. Kongphob who insisted on escorting him back to the front of his door, only chuckled in mirth as he hurriedly tried to salvage them.

"Shit, Kong! You shouldn't just stand there! Come, help me~" the chuckle though, became a full-blown laughter as Arthit finished ordering him. nonetheless, the junior immediately helped him and gathered all the things that was saved from the water.

"What should I do now.." Arthit sighed forlornly.

"That.." Kongphob seems hesitant to suggested. So Arthit sent him a glare for him to open his mouth. Grinning sheepishly, Kong offered his room for Arthit to spend the night.

..reluctantly, Arthit agree. His dorm was the closest after all.

"So.. why can't you stop chuckling!?" Artit finally had enough. They already had their dinner, and just when Arthit got out from the shower, he found his junior still chuckling occasionally.

"Ah.. that, it was nothing, P' Arthit." His junior smiled sweetly.

..too innocent. Too suspicious.

"Out with it." Arthit ordered. The sweet smile faltered, and Kongphob let out a helpless sigh.

"Ohh, Phi khrub.. you might not remember, but this wasn't the first time your pipe broke. And you also stayed the night in my room at the time."

Arthit freezed. Right. 'the forgotten memories', Arthit started to forget about it because it didn't obscure him doing things. But, shared memory like this..

Kongphob must sense something was off because Arthit look stunned. So he tried to assured the older man. "It's okay Phi. Don't worry about it."

Arthit fell into a fretful sleep after that. And was awoken when it neared dawn. Kongpbob.. was nowhere in sight.

"Kongphob?" he tried to call. His eyes then zero-ed on the curtain that was dancing from the wind and the slightly ajar door to the veranda. The younger man must be out there.

He shifted the curtain a little bit to peek, not wanting to disturb the younger man in case he doesn't want to be disturbed. But the scene before him put a nail in his heart. Kongphob was sitting on the veranda, looking blankly at the night sky. There was unmistakable trace of tears on his cheek which still doesn't stop falling. Kongphob was crying silently.

Arthit clenched his fist on the curtain. He was intruding. He shouldn't even see this. He tried to close the curtain, but the sound of it closing must be alerting the younger man, because he looks up straight to Arthit.

"Phi." His eyes widened. His junior immediately wiped the tears off his face. Smiling, he stand up and offered Arthit to come out. "Was it too cold without me sleeping beside you?" he tried to tease, but he smiled helplessly when he saw Arthit's frown.

"Kongphob.."

"It was nothing, Phi."

Arthit doesn't know what to do to make his junior to feel better. Nor he know what he was sad about. he chose to sit on the veranda, patting the space beside him for Kong to sit. Both of them only stares at the sky for a while, nobody said anything. Too busy with their own thought.

"Hey." Arthit suddenly break the silence. "Tell me, about our story." A slight smile lighted up Kongphob's face. He began his tale of how they first met, how Arthit thought he was such a hero and hate him for that, how Kongphob declared and promised to make Arthit his wife, how he gave his hear to Arthit for safekeeping.. their first date, and-

Kongphob stopped mid sentence. Arthit tilt his head curiously, wondering why the younger man ended his story abruptly. The smile that began to bloom to a grin, cheerful and full of mirth slowly faded. The junior lowered his head, his expression cloudy.

"It was the time when your pipe broke. That night, you asked me if I like you. I couldn't say the truth. And after that, you began to avoid me. That was a hard time. when my call finally went through, you ended it just when I want to confess." Kongphob explained wistfully.

"Is that so?"

"Khrub." As Kongphob nodded, he sighed and continue his story. Arthit can see that the younger man tried to shake the sadness he was feeling, because he procures a weak smile. "We didn't talk for a while, because it hurt so bad. But then, just after P' Tum's wedding, you asked me to follow you around. I did so with apprehension. Why would you want something more from me? Why would you had to force yourself to be with me? That was what inside my head at the time. next thing I knew, we stopped at that bridge."

The cheerful smile was back. Kongphob continue his story with an enthusiasm Arthit only ever see when he wanted to say something cheesy and embarrassing to Arthit.

"You asked me a bunch of questions, seemingly want me to back down. But I didn't budge. There was a hope inside me as you keep on droning me with those questions. And you didn't disappoint me, you make my heart whole again by kissing me."

"..Phi? P' Arthit?! Why are you crying?!" there was a panic in Kongphob's voice as he immediately wiped Arthit's face. The latter man doesn't even notice that tears started to fall on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry." He said throatily. Shame and guilt burned inside his heart.

"It's okay, Phi. I don't care if you don't remember. Please don't cry.."

But I would never remember..

"I'm so sorry.." he sobbed.

He cried because the story was never about him. he cried because he robbed the chance for another him to be here, looking how Kongphob's face lighted up as he told him the story. He cried because he wants the story to be his so badly, to have someone who really love him like Kongphob loves another Arthit.

Yes. Kongphob doesn't love him. and his heart breaks..

****