A Bullet Through Your Head {Lams} {Hamilton}

Intro

*P.O.V. ALEXANDER*

The rain was beating down on my face and his... We were in the empty dull street. John is facing me, holding a gun to his head.

"NO!! PLEASE STOP!! DON'T DO THIS!" I yell at the top of my lungs, breathless,  as John raised his gun towards his forehead full of freckles. "I'm not worth anyone's time...all I am is a FUCKING BURDEN..a waste of space in this goddamn world..." John said as his voice breaks and tears fluttered down from his eyes. "N-no!  You're not, John! Dont listen to that voice!! You're not a bur-burden!! Just give me the gun and come home with me..." I say trying my best to not to burst into tears.

Suddenly Johns face goes emotionless

"I'm sorry Alex...I can't do that.."

*points gun towards Alex*

"Oh my g- John please-" I say as I slowly walk backwards.

"ALEX, DO NOT MOVE A FUCKING STEP OR I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!"

I stop dead in my tracks...I can feel my tears start to flow..my body became numb..

"You married that girl...YOU BROKE ME!" John yelled at my face.

"John...Im sorry for whatever pain I-I caused you...but please this is not the way to-"

"How the fuck would you feel if someone you loved so much that every time you look at them, you can't help falling in love all over again, married someone else and not you..." John said coldly.

I stared into his eyes feeling...helpless. I didn't respond.

"Yeah that's what I thought." He said as he looked off to the side.

My body starts to tremble...

"You're right...you're absolutely right...I would've been crushed but killing me or you isn't going to solve it...but John,I'm sorry-"

Im scared of losing..

"NOT JUST YOU...IM ANGRY AT THE FACT MY OWN FUCKING PARENTS DON'T ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM, IM BEING FUCKED OVER FOR MY CHOICE OF SEXUALITY.  MY BEST FRIEND WHO I AM IN DEEPLY LOVE WITH, REJECTED ME. WHO THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE GO TO FOR LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE?!"

...my best friend...

"ME!..I'll be here...I'll always be here! I do accept you, I-I just don't feel that way about you-"

...my roomate...

"GOD ALEX PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP- "

"No! I won't! Please listen to me, John!" 

"NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME! I CAN'T FUCKING LIVE ANYMORE! I TRIED TO FIGHT THAT GOD DAMN VOICE IN MY HEAD BUT EVERY LITTLE THING MAKES ME WEAKER. IM DYING HERE ALEXANDER AND YOU DONT SEE IT!... Nobody sees it...I'm done...I can't live anymore.."

"Yes you can!! Just fight it! I'll be here to fight it with you for every moment!"

"..i-i c-cant...It's telling me to kill you. But I don't...want to.."

*John starts to tremble in fear..he realises what is happening*

"oh god..alex i-im s-scared..what is h-happening to m-me??"

My heart broke...

"Just put the gun down on the floor and come to me...I'm here for you John okay? Ignore it and listen to ME INSTEAD... I'm right here. J-just put the gun down and come to me..."

"I-it's telling m-me t-to do it-t..."

"John, don't listen to it!"

"I'm sorry...Alex.."

*turns gun towards his head*

"No... JOHN PUT THE GUN DOWN! "

"I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!!"

"NO!"

*BANG*

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.
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...my soulmate...