"Felix..." I say shocked. He scratches the back of his head. "hey Lani" he smiles shyly. I run over and jump into his arms. Clearly taken by surprise, stumbled backwards. "w-woah... Hey there" he said in his deep Australian voice. He moves his arm around my back, pulling me close. "hey princess" he nuzzled into my neak. Princess. Awe.
I let go after a few minutes. " I'll order something and be right down" he smiled and gestured me to sit down. I walk to the little table for two and sit down, smiling like an idiot. A few minutes later he comes to the table with a coffee in his hand and sits down across from me. "so... Um.... How have you been..?" I ask him shyly. He sighs. "Lani, I owe you an apology" he says looking down. "oh no.. No you don't. Its oka-" I was cut off. "no it isn't okay . I left you. You were only trying to help me. I shouldn't have. left. I'm sorry Lani" he says sadly. "its alright Felix" I say putting my hand on top of his "you didn't cause any damage".
"I almost did" he mumbled. "why do you say that" I ask. "I got here yesterday around 1 pm. As I was walking to my house, I ran into Chris. He told me about the night I left. What you did. I'm so fucking sorry I made you even consider that again. After everything you'd been through. You didn't deserve this. You deserved so much better. I shouldn't have been so selfish and left just cause I was cut-"he stops himself. I look at him.
" what was that last part? "I ask." nothing "he says, head down, his hair covering his eyes." Felix. I want to know everything. " I say." no "he shakes his head." felix... "I say holding his hand." I said no Lani "he looks away. Tears are in his eyes." well then " I say and stand up" I guess we are done here ". Walking out of the cafe I felt bad for him. But if he wasn't going to be honest then what's the point.
When I'm halfway up the street I hear my name being called. I stop in the path and hear footsteps getting louder. Suddenly Felix comes into my view. He pulls me into a tight hug. "I'll tell you. You are the only one I trust. But I can't show you here." he says breaking the hug and looking around. "felix. I believe you. I don't need you to show me" I say. " but you want to know the reason? I have to show you. You wouldn't believe the things that have happened." he says teary eyed.
"okay" I say. He takes my hand and leads me to his car. We get in and sit in silence the whole way to his house. When the reach it, we both get out and walk in. "what is the big secret?" I ask him putting my bag down and sitting on the couch. He looks down and I cross my arms, giving him a stern look. He sighs and unzips his hoodie, taking it off. I gasp seeing the scars on his arms.
"so what would I not have believed?" I ask him. He sighs again and reaches for the bottom of his oversized t shirt. He pulls up his shirt revealing his stomach covered in marks. But these spelled out words. I read the words.
Useless
Accident
Ass hole
Ugly
Kill yourself
I stare in shock. "felix, why would you write such awful things?" I ask him. He pulls his shirt back down and sits beside me, pulling his hoodie on in the process.
"I... I didn't. My mother did" he says quitely.
