FAITH

Prologue

"I love you, Jack."

"Don't you do that, don't say your good-byes. Not yet, do you understand me?

"I'm so cold."

"Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?"

"I can't feel my body."

"Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise."

"I promise."

"Never let go."

"I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."

Yes, I am watching Titanic for the 21 times now. I can't stop listening this movie because it is my favorite. And because I am always sitting on the couch. I don't really like to hang out with friends to go to a party and have fun and be drunk. I am not this kind of girl. I prefer to lay on my bed, earphones in, reading my favorite book. "The fault in our stars". What an amazing book ! I wish I could be in this story. Just to understand how all the children with cancer feel. I never feel comfortable whenever I am beside a child with this disease. And I just can't imagine how they feel.

Could you think about a world without any disease or war ? It would be so much better than this world. I mean, all of our problems would disappear. Am I wrong ? Because this is what I really think about our planet. We should appreciate what we see everyday because perhaps one day, all of this won't be there anymore. I know all of this seems weird because I am a 16 years old girl and I think too much for my age. But in my free times, this is what come into my mind. I already told you that I am not like other teenagers. I have a different way of mind.

Saturday, my mom and I are suppose to do a "girly-day" because she wants to spend more time with me. Even if I really don't want, I may go with her because I know she will be sad if I tell her that going buy some stupid clothes in stupid shops won't help me to have more friends. And yes, I don't have a lot of friends. In reality, I have one friend. Aria. Aria Williams. We are not best friends. I don't like when someone says they have a best friend. Because you can't trust someone completely. Even if you are very close to this person. Because you can't know if you can trust her or him until they prove it to you. Aria is a really good friend for me tho. We know each other since the kindergarden. And now we are in high school so this is a pretty much long time. I love her and she loves me. Nobody can separate us. She knows absolutely everything about me and I know absolutely everything about her. We are always together. I can't live without her. She is my other half, my unbiological sister. Aria is 16 years old too. She goes at the same high school as me. We were in the same class last year. But not this year because she no longer goes to school. There is something special about her ... She has leukemia. Since she is 6 years old. Her battle is not over yet. When I knew it, I was also 6 so my one and only reaction was telling her :

"Everything will be okay Nini. I will never leave . I promise."

But even if it hurts saying that, I need to admit that she is dying. Every day is worst than the other. This is why she is no longer going to school this year. She was almost fine last year but then the cancer attacked again. She had been fighting for 10 years now and the end is coming. I see it. I feel it. I don't like it. She is at the hospital with her parents trying to find the cure to her leukemia. Every night before I go to bed, I pray for her and for her family. I hope she is going to be alright soon. But I know it is almost impossible. The leukemia has been taking almost all of her body. I keep believing. She means so much to me. I just can't imagine my life without her. If she leaves, I leave too. I promised her I will never leave until she does. And I always keep my promises.

I need to go to bed. School tomorrow. With him. The only person that can bring me down as easy as nothing. I am tired of being treated like this. I am tired of being alone at school because Aria is not there. I am tired of eating alone every fucking day. I am tired of this shit.