FAITH

Chapter VI

You know the feeling you get when you receive your parents' birthday gift and you are so happy and excited because you don't know if they bought you the thing you wanted the most or if they just bought you a simple gift card ? This feeling of excitement, I feel it every time I see him now. Since we kissed, I am lost. Because he is always on my mind and I wonder if I am on his like he is on mine. I want to put my lips on his again. Especially when I catch his eyes. It is like if I was obligated to think about him whenever he is close to me. It sucks as fuck. I know I can't ever have him but I still hope that one day he will kiss me again. And that it will be as magical as the first time. I know I am stupid. Yeah, I know. From now on, I will move on from him and forget about what happened last night. But he invited me to his party. What should I do ? Can someone help me please ? Aria ! I will call her, I am sure she can help me. 

We speak more than an hour about everything. She is doing good today, it doesn't hurt so much. The doctors are trying to find the cure to it but it is really hard. She has a special cancer disease so it needs a lot of time for them to help her. But today she had such a great day. I promise her I will come see her at the hospital soon but I have a lot of work with school and everything. I am suppose to visit her this week, I hope it will work for everybody. I miss her so much. It is like if someone takes off the other half of me and send it a mile away from myself. It is hard. The only thing I want for our relationship is that the medical team tell us she will be fine soon. And with all we've said, I forgot to ask her about tonight. I can be such a jerk sometimes ! That was the reason why I've called her and I did not do complete my job. Silly I am. 

After a long time of reflection, I make the decision to finally ... go to the party. Just because I want to clear the things with Levi. It means a lot to me so I am just going to his house, find him, explain him it was just a little kiss and it doesn't mean a lot for me, either for him and I will leave. I thinks it is a good plan. At least, I will try it. I should do something with myself tho because I don't want to look like a monster even if I will just go talk with Levi. Stupid self-esteem. I put on a blue Abercrombie And Fitch hoodie with my black legging and my dark ballerina. My mascara makes my eyes look prettier than the usual and I decided to leave my hair in a normal way, a little curly. I warn my parents I am going to a friend's house for an hour max and I will be home soon. They nod but they tell me to be home at 11:30 pm not later. Then I leave my house in the direction of the party. On my way there, my thoughts are running in my head. So much I am starting to have a headache. I get here after fifthteen minutes of walk. So many people are here tonight ! And Levi told me yesterday he was doing a little something for Collin ... 

When I pass the door, I look all over the place. I see a lot of people from the school but I don't find Levi. I search everywhere for him but nope, no Levi Miller. Then I met Kenzie. We talked a bit before she is calling to go play a game with her friends. The game is about a card. You need to suck a card with your mouth without using your hands and pass it to the person next to you. You need to be in a circle to play this game and it needs to be one girl then one boy, always. And sometimes, two people can kiss by accident if they rap out the card on the floor. So Kenzie decides to go and play it but before she leaves, she asks me if I want to play with them. I answer I am okay here but she insists. I finally accept just for one game. Isn't it a crime to have a little bit of fun in my life ? I follow her through the crowd to go upstairs. A guy I don't really know starts the game by passing the card to a girl next to him with his mouth. Then it is Kenzie's turn. It is almost mine. I keep the card with my mouth but I have to give it to the guy besides me. When I turn my head to pass it, I feel the card falling. And my mouth is almost on his. I don't really know how it happens but I kiss him. It is a long and good tasting kiss. I open my eyes. I see a little smile on his face. 

" I, I should go now. Sorry for interrupting ... " before I start to walk towards the stairs. I know who is the guy I kissed. And I did not want to be him. I remember I forgot my science's notebook in Levi's room yesterday so I take it on my way out of here. While I am trying to find it, the door closes. I turn around to see if someone is the room with me. He is there. And we are only the two of us in his room. 

" As magical as the one we had yesterday Hailey. "

" I am sorry I did not want to do kiss you. I mean I did it by accident, because of the game and I am really ... "

He did the same as yesterday. He has his head down looking on the floor. But then he puts it up and looks at me right into my eyes, his both hands in his pockets. He starts walking near me. He is really coming closer to me. My breathing is starting to be harder. My hearth is racing. My hands are shaking and my legs do the same. My mouth is getting drier and he is right in front of me. He takes off one hand of his pocket and touches my cheek. I get chills. Then he tells me this even if we are at the point where we should be kissing. 

" Do you want to see something as beautiful as your eyes ? "

I can't answer his question. He takes my hand and takes me to the rooftop of his house. What an amazing sky. All the stars are shining as if they never ever showed up before in the glaxy. It is like they are all little infinities because everywhere you look, you can find a piece of them. They seems so happy. They care about nothing except there moment of glowing. It is magnificent. 

" You like it ? "

" I am in love with it. "

He takes my hand. 

" And I am in love with you Hailey Costa. "