Soul Death

Ch. 4 Panic!

***Layla's POV***

          Once I made sure Amani wasn't on the other side of the door litening, I went over to Ms. Alister, whispering furiously. "I can't show her around, she's my soulmate!" I showed Ms. Alister my arm as a look of understanding swept across her face. "Layla I know what happened, and I understand your weariness, but you can't keep doing this to yourself. It's time you work through it." Her voice was full of pity, I hated it. "I'm never going through that again!" I said hating the way my voice broke. "She can never know that we're soulmates."

"Layla please at least, try to get to know her. You don't have to talk to her. But if you discover that she's not like Tara--" I cut her off "--Don't ever say that name!" she looked taken aback at the tears on my face. When did I start crying? "Fine- but if she's not, then at least try to work through it. If she is like that though, then you never have to see her again. I promise. But you never know, she might be the thing that fills that hole in your heart you try so hard to hide. You have to take into account how she might feel, you making this decision for you both" I look up, surprised. "How did you?"

"It doesn't matter how, but can you promise me you'll at least try?" I look down in defeat, "I suppose I could do that. But I'm not talking to her" I finish sharply. "I don't expect you to. Here's a copy of Amani's schedule. Send her father in on your way out will you?" I only nod and walk out the door. I see Amani and her father deep in conversation across the hall. They don't notice me at first, so I clap to get their attention. I point at Amani's father then back to the office, gesturing for him to go in. Amani starts to follow him but I grab her hand, and shake my head when she looks at me. She looks down at our hands, and I drop hers suddenly, blushing. I show her, her schedule, and motion for her to follow me, hiding the words on my left arm.

***Amani's POV***

           Layla leads me away from the office, and I notice the blush on her cheeks she was trying to hide. "Where are we going?" She stops, pointing at something on the paper. It's my schedule, I look to where her finger is and see she pointing at the word locker. "Oh, why didn't you just say so?" She pauses looking at me thoughtfully before shaking her head. I gasp "You can't speak can you! How will your soulmate know they've found you?" She stares at me before bursting out laughing. What's going on? Grabbing a pencil from her bag she writes on the back of my schedule for a minute. She hands it to me to read as we continue walking. I start to read;

First off I found them on my to the office earlier. They just don't know it, and I want it to stay that way. Second, not everyone wants to find their soulmate, I didn't, I still don't but I found them anyway. I don't talk because I don't want them to find me. What about you? Do you want to meet your soulmate?

I look up at her confused "Why don't you want your soulmate to find you?" She looked at me with pain shining in her eyes. "Is it personal?" she nods at me and I just sigh. It's going to be tough to get Layla to lower her walls. "I get it, I've got something I'm hiding too." She stops in front of a locker and stares at me curiosity burning in her eyes. She gestures to the locker. "This is mine?" She nods and points at my combination on the paper I was still holding, then back at her words. "Do I want to meet my soulmate?" I ask her if that's what she meant and she nods. I turn to my locker putting my bag up and start to talk. 

***Layla's POV***

           "Of course I want to meet my soulmate. All my life i've only ever wanted to meet them, I mean there's a reason why we're meant to be together right? But sometimes I doubt the system ya know? Like there's seven and a half billion people on Earth, and there's only one that you can be happy with? What if they were hit by a car? Or were murdered years ago? You would never know. But then again they might be the thing that keeps you from hurting yourself, or even killing yourself, so why not?"

A strange look came over Amani's face as she said this. She looked like she was in a different place. A different time. I hesitate before I place my hand on her arm, trying to reassure her. She snaps to and gives me a weak smile, "All you can do is wait for them to save you huh?" her voice is deathly soft and I have to lean forward to hear her, I'm not even sure if I hear her right. Amani turns around hiding her face from me. I write on her schedule again, tapping her shoulder for her to read it.

I'll be your friend if you want.

"Really?" she has such a hopeful look on her face it breaks my heart. Wait what?.... No don't pity her! I nod anyway. She smiles "Where to next then friend?" I look at my watch, we're still in second period. Ugh back to Mr. Samson's class. I motion for her to follow me as we continue down the hall, I tune out her talking and wonder what she meant when she mentioned killing herself.

Wait..... I stop in the middle of the hall, causing Amani to run into me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" she apologized immediately. I turn around slowly as realization dawns on me. She didn't have time to react as I grabbed Amani's arm and pulled up her sleeve. I get a glimpse at the dozens of lines that spanned across her arm. Amani tried to pull away, but I held on. "Dude, what the hell. Let go." I looked up at her upset face. She paused in trying to get away and brought her hand up to my face. "You're crying." She wipes my tears away.

Why am I crying? You should hate her! No....Yes.....No.....Yes....No. What happened? What caused Amani to do this to herself? I start as Amani calls my name, worried. I open my mouth to speak, then shut it again remembering. I shake my head and turn away, digging in my bag for my compact checking my makeup. It was a little smudged but otherwise unnoticeable. I start towards the classroom, Amani runs to catch up and I notice she fixed her sleeve.

***Mini timeskip***

 I barge into Mr. Samson's class earning a glare from him. I ignore him and pass him a note Ms. Allister had given me explaining what was going on. I look back to see Amani standing in the doorway. I go over and drag her to the empty seat next to me. I look up daring Mr. Samson to argue. He just nods and has Amani introduce herself to the class.