1 2 : 0 0 a m, L u n c h.
After picking up some food from the cafeteria, I glanced at Jackie's table. I felt unsure if I was supposed to sit there, allowed to or even wanted to. But somehow my insecurites made me feel bold. And I just casualy strided across to their table, only to find there wasn't any room. Not purposely, but the girls and guys had sat in such a way where there was very little space between them, and occupying the end of the table all at once.
I froze, awkwardly. Then Buddy waved at me, and scooted over. I timidly smiled and sat next to him. Jackie grunted and stabbed her fork into her pot pie. "This little fuck is still frozen." She complained. Sapphire, next to her giggled, "Mines not." Jackie glared at her. Sapphire looks at me, "Hey Emily. How was Mr. Ryans art class?" I shrugged, "It was alright, boring for the second day." Then Buddy added, "We made lines." In a kiddish voice and clapped sarcastically. "Shit man, I was hoping it'd be really something. I should have known, I've heard Mr. Ryan teaches with a stick up his ass, no real passion about art. None." Sapphire whines. "Which is pathetic really," I added, "Art is passion."
"Right, exactly. Maybe I'll change schools." Sapphire frowned. Jackie pouted and Bryland shook her scarlet locks. They hugged her tight from either side. "I know, you guys need me." She smiled. I just watched them communicate for a while. And It made me think back on my two best friends, Catherine and June. They were two of the most smartest girls I ever knew, right about everything. It was annoying and enjoyable all at once.
We held hands as we walked to school since we were little, and we grew up still holding hands. And we'd giggle as the boys would get the wrong idea. Catherine every year was voted for everything. Most likely to succeed, best friend, best dressed, best eyes, hair, and smile. Me and June always voted for her too. I was sometimes jealous of Catherine and June, they were early bloomers and got so much attention. I regret having quarreled with them over it. I should have appreciated them more while our friendship lasted.
Sometimes you just never know a good thing til it's gone. Buddy poked me hard in the ribs, "Ouch!" I pouted. "Oops, I'm sorry, my fingers fault." His eyebrows furrowed and he pretended to scold his finger. I laughed. He looked ridiculous. And kind of cute. And his after shave was getting to me. "Hey, look at that. I made you laugh." He smiled contently, showing no teeth. I smiled back. Afterwards, I was more relaxed. I was social again.
C h e m i s t r y 1 : 1 5 p m
"Alright, class is about to come to a close. You have ten minuets to discuss with me, or create a planner of when you will need any extra outside school help. Notify me if you have any questions. Thank you." Ms. Laberry said. Chem is so exhausting. And quiet. Except for now, all the students are discussing with Ms. Laberry, and talking to each other. Buddy decided to sit with his friend this time. I sat alone.
My planner was blank, I wasn't sure if I even need help in Chemistry, if I did, all that'd need help is my brain. It's a mentally draining class, even if you're really smart. I rubbed my temples, and tapped my pen against my planner. There was one place I was sure I needed extra help in, just to get the hang of it. But mom would be upset.
"Manson's don't get tutors, either you learn on your own or you get help from me or dad when we aren't busy, and no one must know!" Mom would say. I rarely ever needed help, mostly I'd ask just to know what she thought. She had a very dim way of thinking. But for some reason I still admired her in a way, she wanted me to have a good reputation, good wealth and upbringing, was that so wrong? And if it was, why? I had to know.
