Darling 80

-5-

~80~

Jakobs whimpering for me bring me back to reality, which is what a needed. It's been 6 months since Billies death and I can't put his note down. I was praying it was true, but I guess that's where he phrase 'the truth hurts' comes from. I put the note down after searching for some trace of lies. Please Billie, please tell me it's lies. 

I get up  and pick up Jakob from his crib, caressing his little cheek to stop his crying. Billie not being here is hard work, I'm on child watch all the time. And it's only a matter of time before I need to start working again. And then what will I do with the kids? 

~Mike~

Tre and I are worried about Adrienne. She's so broken, she still smiles but her eyes show her pain. She wants to escape, she wants to forget about how Billie stabbed a hole in her heart. Poor girl. I have my own problems, the biggest was my strong urge to take revenge on everyone who pushed Billie towards his death. And that's where things went downhill for me. 

It started with my argument with Tre. We were a thing, if were pure bliss. Being in his arms, having someone to talk to about my problems and just having someone to give all my love to. It made me feel... important. To have someone who I could make happy, it gave me some significance in this cruel world. 

"Revenge?! What are you gonna do mike?! I'm not allowing you to hurt anyone else, I won't  have my boyfriend doing that!" Tre growled at me which caused me to growl in return. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want Tre." I said, anger clearly traceable in my voice. "You're not a monster Mike! You're so fucking perfect and loving. You're gonna fuck yourself up. As I said, I won't have my boyfriend doing that!!" His tone of voice was more serious. "Fine! I'm not your boyfriend anymore!" I said as a snarl erupted from my chest and my hands slammed on the table. I couldn't bear to look at his heart broken face, so I left. Just before I closed the front door I heard a sob escape his lips.