Impulse

Chapter Seven - Reason Number Two

Reason Number Two

I went back to school

The following Monday.

My mind was bent,

My hope was twisted,

And the rest of my faith in humanity

Was thrown away,

Just like my virginity.

I clutched my books hard to my chest,

As if plastic and paper

Could protect me from the world.

I'm not sure how I managed to get up for school that day.

I was no longer a person.

I was shattered like a mirror,

Distorted reflection shining through.

 

I walked through the dreary halls

To find my first class.

But something was wrong.

With every step

My sneakers made,

I saw people stare at me

Like I had four heads.

Blue eyes,

Green eyes,

Brown eyes,

All gazed at me.

And their lips

Were giggling,

Like I had just told a joke.

People would look at me

Then turn around and whisper to a friend.

I felt my stomach drop to the ends of my toes,

And heat rose to my cheeks.

What was happening?

I wanted to run away

But my feet felt like they were glued to the floor.

That's when Sarah came over.

"Why didn't you tell me about you and John?"

My heart sank.

I felt bile swishing in my stomach,

Threataning to jump out of my mouth.

"W-What?"

I choked on my words.

"You and John totally DID it!

Everyones talking about it.

John told a lot of people.

So what happened?

Tell me EVERYTHING."

John told people?

That horrible monster

Told his friends,

So he could be praised?

I bet he didn't mention my consant pleading.

"No.

Please.

Stop."

These simple words

never sounded so terrifying before.

I bet he didn't talk about

The tears I tried so hard to hold in,

But I failed,

And they poured down my face

Washing away the mascara and eye liner

I spent so long putting on.

I bet he didn't say anything

About the bruises that swell on my wrists legs and neck,

From when he held me down.

The whole school

Thinks I'm a slut,

And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

 

Every day

I would drag myself out of bed,

I would throw on something unflattering,

I would skip breakfast,

And I would slowly inch my way

To school.

Every day

I would get ridiculed,

Curses were thrown at me,

Words like

Slut,

Whore,

And tramp

Became my name.

And it was all because of a boy

Who knew me for one night.