HEY YOU! YOU'RE STILL MINE

chaaapppy 13

*I'm thinking if I should give jade his point of view, but it seems that its too early but who care hehe*

Jade's P.O.V

I'm now here at the mall, at the parking lot inside my car to be exact, and I've been here for like 30 minutes I guess, the thought of me walking with a lot of strangers scares me, I mean its a lot of human beings I dont even know by both name and looks, that's why I was able to survive the school for I know them by their look and daniel is always with me...

But now I'm here stuck in my car for I'm scared of being alone with a lot of strangers... Ugh! I really hate this feeling of fear, so now I'm going to slay this fear and walk out there with confidence...

While walking, people are just looking at me, looking not staring, but some of them is staring at me and its kind of creepy...

And I just walk and walk and walk, what else do you want me to do? Oh wait, that's a good shoes lemme buy that...

At pumasok ako sa store na bentahan ng mga sapatos, ahw ang daming magagandang sapatos, kaya ba ng dala kong pera, at tinigna ko ang wallet ko at 15 thousand, 600, tapos may 7 akong 500 at 200, mukhang kulang pa ito ah nagugutom pa ako...

Mukha lang akong walang inaalala but  I'm thinking if he's going or not, I'm not forcing him to go here but I'm hoping... this past weeks or months?... that we've been together my feeling for him just got deeper, and It gets deeper and deeper everytime he shows his concerns for me...

After buying some shoes I went to a clothing store, cause I saw some jeans and shorts and its beautiful as in beautiful...

And after that I went to the nearest reastau, and I ordered my foods... while waiting for my food lets talk about everything... Im forcing myself to move on cause if I don't ill remain the weak version of me which I really hate, I really hate the feeling of fear and being a weakling, I raised myself as queen and just because of that accident I became too weak as in too weak... I'm forcing myself to do the things I do as the original queen... and I came to this realization,  I'm sulking too much, Im getting scared too much and I look down at myself too much, because of that accident that didn't succeed,  I mean I was not rape its just almost, I know I make it sound easy but nope I'm always saying that to myself but my body says the other, my body still remembers that accident...

And anxiety strikes me again, right now right here... fuck!

Pj's P.O.V

I'm here at mall looking like a crazy person, kasi kanina pa ako ikot ng ikot at lakad ng lakad kung saan saan, dahil bigla akong kinabahan na para bang may nangyayare kay jade na di maganda, kaya nagstart na akong magtanong sa mga nakakasalubong kong tao, hanggang sa napadpad ako sa isang bentahan ng damit at may saleslady na nasa labas kay tinanong ko siya kung nakita niya ba si jade at pinakita ang pic ni jade...

"Ay sir andun po siya sa restau na yun" sabi niya at nag thank you ako at tumakbo ako papunta dun...

At nakita ko si jade na nasa isang sulok at dikit na dikit sa pader, syet inaatake siya ng anxiety niya... ganyan siya pag masyado siyang nag ooverthink bigla siyang inaatake ng anxiety niya bigla na lang yan didikit sa pader at di masyadong gagalaw at may nagserve sa kaniya ng food kayang agad akong lumapit sa kaniya at nag liwanag ang mukha niya nang makita ako kaya kinawayan niya ako, ay nako nag isip bata na naman siya ngayon ganyan ginagawa niyang pag ayaw niyang may may makakita sa kaniya na nagiging mahina siya pero minsan niya lang nakakayang gawin ang ganyan...

"Jade! I told you not to go anywhere without me, and isa pa sabi ko wag ka nang tumuloy sa pag mamall mo" sabi ko sa kaniya plbago umupo sa tabi niya

"Ano itutuloy mo pa ba ang pagkain mo dito?" Tanong ko sa kaniya at hinawakan ang kamay niya dahil yan lang ang alam kong gawin pag inaatake siya ng anxiety niya

"Atsaka andami mo naman pinamili" sabi ko nang makita ang mga paper bags na nasa isang sulok

"Hoy jade kanina pa ako salita ng salita dito wala ka man lang sinasabi" sabi ko at tinignan siya at nginitian niya ako at biglang may luhang tumulo sa isa niyang mata

"I love you♥♥♥" sabi niya bigla na kinagulat ko

"You're free now, pwede ka nang umalis kung gusto mo, free from worry, free from me, you can go now" sabi niya at pinunasan ang luha niya at umaktong parang okay na siya at kaya niya na ang sarili niya

"What are you sayi-" sabi ko na pinutol niya gamit ang daliri niya naka lagay sa lips ko

"Waiter! Itake out ko na lang" sabi niya sa waiter agad itong niligpit

Jade's P.O.V

"Anong sinasabi mo?" Sabi agad pagka alis nung waiter

"Ulitin ko na ha, pwede mo na akong iwan, kasi kaya ko na sarili ko, atsaka kung di mo naman ako gusto bakit kailangan mo pa akong alagaan, atsaka di ba homophobic ka, so you can go now" sabi ko at di na siya nag salita at umalis na lang pinigilan ko ang mga luhang nagbabadyang tumulo dahil nasa public ako