I looked at Dimitri for the first time in the last hour, remembering my promise; my tears welled up in my eyes again. God, I was such a child. Even though I was upset, well more than upset, with Dimitri, I couldn't destroy his reputation, I couldn't hurt him. Family was everything and he was all I had left. Somehow, Dimitri brought the childishness out of me. Maybe it was because he had spoiled me as a child, but maybe it was because I had refused to accept that Dimitri had stopped treating me as a child and giving in to all my whims.
"I made a promise that I can't go back on, I'm sorry Alberta. Dimitri and I may have disagreed and fought about it, but it's nothing of your concern," I answered as neutrally as I could manage, "I can promise you that what whatever is going on between us, it will not interfere without our duties."
Dimitri's face registered nothing, but surprise. He must have thought that I would have told her about him and Rose to get back at him for his earlier comment about my jealousy.
It was true though, I was jealous of Rose. I hated her with a passion because she had Dimitri and I had no one. I thought of Alexander again, and of Anna and Vladimir. I wondered if I had the insanity and instability to commit suicide, even though I had told Adrian I would never, I was beginning to doubt my own words.
Alberta looked at Dimitri to see if he was going to say anything. He didn't.
I walked silently to my dorm and crashed on the bed. I was exhausted, but I knew I couldn't sleep. The tension between Dimitri and I was still there, but it was a bit better than when we were screaming at each other or when I had been dragged back into Alberta's office.
"Mira, thank you..." trailed off Dimitri.
"Mmm," I said.
I didn't feel like I was alive anymore. I was just going through the motions in life, I felt numb.
Dimitri sat down on my bed beside me. He ran his fingers through my hair and hugged me to his chest.
"You've been fighting so hard. We'll find him, I promise. You deserve to be happy too," whispered Dimitri in my ear in Russian.
I looked into his chocolate brown eyes and managed a weak smile.
"Dimitri, I know I'm young, but...it's as though I've already expended everything I have to offer. There's no reason for me to keep going anymore, to keep fighting," I said hoarsely.
Nothing prepared me for the shock Dimitri went through, he held onto me harder than ever.
"I will never let that fate befall you. You are my sister and I promised you that we would go through life together, that I'd protect you from all your pain and I'm not doing a good job, am I?" said Dimitri fiercely.
"It's not your fault...you've been good to me, but you've made mistakes, we all have, that's what makes us who we are," I answered, "But unless I can get my Alexander back, there's no point to be here, seeing ghosts and stuff really takes a toll on you after a while."
"You still see them?" Dimitri frowned.
"Mhm," I nodded.
"Even after the bond has been broken for so long?" Dimitri was getting pretty concerned again.
"Mhm," I replied again.
"And you can't just forget him, can you?" questioned Dimitri.
"Well I could if I could move on," I stated, "I mean, Adrian's a pretty nice guy, other than the fact that he's an Ivashkov and related to Tatiana."
Dimitri laughed, "You can't be serious about him can you?"
I frowned, "Why? Do you dislike him that much? What do you have against him?"
"What's wrong with him?" repeated Dimitri, "He drinks and smokes and sleeps around with so many women, that's what's wrong."
"He doesn't sleep with anyone," I stated flatly.
