The Forbidden Bite

Chapter 30: Therapy

1 Week Later

"I just feel so guilty for making him leave,"  I whimpered to my new therapist.  She was very young, but she was sweet and I could tell she cared.  She nodded.  I had told her my entire life story and this was my third session.

"You didn't make him leave.  Why do you feel like you have?"  She asked me in a calming voice.  I liked her a lot so far, and she always had a kind expression on her face.  Her office was covered in pretty art, and her desk had a picture of her deployed husband.  There were two bookcases in her office, and I was sitting in a fuzzy chair.  My mom wanted to wait outside in the waiting room this time.

"Maybe, if I forgave him then I could have convinced him to stay,"  I said.

"Do you think you would have been ready if you got the chance?"

"I did have a chance.  I just stared at him remembering everything I went through and I couldn't.  I don't think I ever will,"  I said honestly.

"I believe someday you will, but it will take time.  Forgiveness isn't easy.  You said that you told Daniel you needed space.  Tell me why you need space?"  She asked me.  I knew this would come up, and I really didn't know the prefect answer.

"I just needed time to myself and work on my mental health."

"I don't doubt it but I think there is another reason your not saying,"  She said and wrote on her paper.  My eyes filled up with tears because I knew she was right.  I looked at my tennis shoes and my hands started to sweat.

"I'm scared that he will leave me,"  I cried out and felt a few tears leak out of my eyes.  My therapist nodded and got an impressed look on her face.

"I think that you were hurt in the past.  Someone left you or hurt you repeatedly so your afraid it will happen again.  Your afraid to show Daniel your ugly parts because your afraid that he won't accept them.  Instead of waiting to get hurt, your willing to hurt him first,"  She finally ended her sentence and I was crying hard.  I knew she was right, and I knew I had been ignoring it. 

"I cry to much,"  I said and she laughed.

"No you don't.  It's perfectly okay to cry.  It helps the psych believe it or not, it's a way for the mind to release your emotions.  Just go to Daniel and cry to him.  Tell him the truth and show your ugly parts,"  She stood up and I knew it was the end of our session.  She was right.  I need to talk to Daniel.

On the drive home my mom didn't ask any questions.  She knew that I didn't like answering questions about my therapy sessions.  Once we pulled into our neighborhood I decided to break the silence.

"Mom, I need to talk to Daniel,"  My mom nodded and stopped in front of his house.  I jumped out and knocked on his door.  My mom looked at me and nodded, and I felt very confident.  Daniel's mom answered the door and immediately smiled.

"Hello, Jack.  I missed seeing you,"  She said and pulled me into a hug.  "Come in, Daniel isn't here but he will be in a few minutes,"  I walked into there living room and sat down.  His mom brought me tea and sat down opposite me.

"I can't thank you enough of what you have done with my son,"  She said and I nodded.

"I don't think I've done much.  He's done more for me then the other way around,"  I said and she grinned.

"Well, you didn't know Daniel just a year ago.  He was always in trouble and never wanted to listen to me.  Thank you!"  She said again.

"Your welcome,"  Right as I finished that sentence Daniel walked in the door.  He stopped in his tracks when he saw me and I gave him a sweet smile.  He returned it as his mom stood up and went to the kitchen.