i'll give you the sun

part 1.

Yoongi thinks that his soul must be tethered to a rock out at sea because he feels distant, like he's in too big of a place and all alone. The sea does that to you. Occupying one of the largest offices in the building's top floor shouldn't give one the feeling of being lost at sea, though, but the only good thing about this office is the glass windows – he can perfectly see the clouds from up here.

The sky is blue and a large wave crashes into his heart.

There's something about the sun that captivates him. Isn't it a thing of wonder for the Earth to be rotating around a great big ball of fire? Some days, Yoongi will curse at the heat, hates how it makes him sweat through his dress shirt sometimes, but on most days, Yoongi will squint up at the sky and smile at it.

He realised early in his life that it is far more reassuring to trust in the sun than to make friends with the moon and the stars.

The sun is powerful and is always shining someplace else. It's always morning somewhere. The stars and the moon – they're always in the sky and visible at night, sometimes early in the morning, depending on where you are, but here in Seoul where the city lights threaten to blind even the normal pedestrian, the moon and the stars don't stand a chance.

And Yoongi has always allied himself with the strong, the blistering heat only a minor problem. When the sun is your best friend, it's only natural to fall in love with the human reincarnation of sunshine.

He stares out the window of his office, a bitter little smile on his face as he looks up at the bright blue sky.

The ocean in his heart is threatening to pull him under, the rope keeping him tied around the rock flimsy.

It has been three months since Kim Taehyung left their once shared apartment, all the things he managed grab with him stuffed in two bags.

It has been three months since Kim Taehyung left their once shared apartment, taking with him his clothes, some books, the CDs he always listens to, and the sun.

It has been three months since Kim Taehyung left their once shared apartment and Min Yoongi is stuck, day in and day out, in a world where the sun shines dully just behind the clouds.

For a man who has loved the sun, who has thrived in its warmth, Min Yoongi is surprisingly devoid of it.

But Kim Taehyung's steps are light, his smile bright, laugh tinkling, and once Yoongi had wondered if it were possible for somebody to be made out of sunshine.

Taehyung had answered his silent question with a laugh that he'd hidden in Yoongi's chest, his lips grazing down his neck when he said, in a whisper, that it should be or else it's not fair how Yoongi walks on starlight, the moon always smiling down on him and the stars twinkling, laughing high up in the sky just for him.

The sun is his best friend and like a lot of friends during a bad breakup, it took a side. It left with Kim Taehyung that one Thursday morning in January.

When Taehyung left him three months ago and looked at him with a sadness in his eyes too much for a boy so young like him to carry, Yoongi saw, behind the glistening of tears, the sun setting just as Taehyung had shut his eyes tight, not even able to look at Yoongi for long anymore.

When he lies awake in a bed that he hadn't slept in alone for close to six years, Yoongi asks himself how it was possible for Taehyung to hold all of the sun in his fingertips and wonders, three months too late, why Taehyung would take the sun with him when he knew Yoongi loved it too much.

But maybe that's what happens to the things you love – one way or another, sooner or later, it'll just slip from your fingertips and the boy you thought you'd be waking up to every morning for all the mornings to come in your life has already walked out the room, the door clicking to a close behind him.