i'll give you the sun

part 2.

Friday night comes and Yoongi ignores the endless buzzing of his phone and the blast of texts from his friends.

Friday night comes and Yoongi sits inside of his expensive car in traffic, thinking, and not for the first time, of how easy things had been before.

Friday night comes and finds Yoongi out the balcony of his expensive penthouse, staring down at one of Seoul's most expensive neighbourhoods, and smoking a cigarette that burns at his throat, the smoke wrapping itself around his heart.

Friday night comes and goes and Yoongi only falls asleep when the sun begins to rise and he's run out of cigarettes.

--

Somebody's knocking.

Somebody's banging on the door. Really, really loudly.

He hears his name being called, over and over again, and Yoongi surfaces from his sleep, eyes opening. He'd fallen asleep outside, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. His neck hurts from sleeping at such an awkward position but his skin feels warm, so he ignores the pain from his neck, the heaviness in his chest, and the knocking at his door.

The intercom has been ringing the whole morning but Yoongi has managed to successfully ignore it. What he can't ignore, though, is the sound of the right passcode being punched in and his door opening.

"Min fucking Yoongi," A loud, booming voice, pierces through the silence.

Yoongi waits outside the balcony, knees drawn up as he stares out at the sky, the sun shining brightly but not harshly. He doesn't have to look behind him to know who's just broken into his house because a second later, Hoseok has got a hand in his hair, fingers tugging harshly.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Hoseok practically snarls at him, his eyes the angriest Yoongi's ever seen.

He blinks at him, finds that he's blocking the sun. He hates Hoseok momentarily for that and thinks that it should be him screaming the question out angrily.

"Ouch, that hurts," He swats at Hoseok's hand and Hoseok's fingers only tighten in the clump of hair he's got a hold of, making Yoongi wince. "Jung Hoseok, I'm going to push you off this fucking balcony if you don't let up,"

The threat works because Hoseok is dropping his hand but not the glare.

Yoongi gets up from the bench and walks back into the house, Hoseok following behind him. When they reach the kitchen, Hoseok rounds on him again, still mad.

"What's your deal, Yoongi?" Hoseok asks, tone harsh.

This is exactly the kind of attitude he'd always expected of Hoseok. What surprises Yoongi, though, is that it took Hoseok three months to react like this.

"Sorry, the house isn't ready for guests," Yoongi excuses himself with a one-shoulder shrug, the look on his face blatantly screaming that he's anything but sorry. "What are you doing here?"

"Bullshit," Hoseok spats, hand going into his own hair to pull at it, probably to prevent himself from doing the same to Yoongi. Probably to calm himself. "None of us has seen you in months and the one time we're all free, you don't show up."

Yoongi looks at him for a moment, assesses the situation, before he goes and says, very offhandedly, "I'm really sorry to have ruined your night with my absence,"

Hoseok rolls his eyes and takes long strides, pacing the kitchen. "Fuck, Yoongi, what else do you want us to do?"

Nothing, Yoongi thinks.

He doesn't answer.

"We're your friends," Hoseok's voice has gone from angry to almost sounding like a whine, "I'm your best friend,"

Yoongi knows that, of course he does.

He doesn't answer.

"Give us at least a chance to be friends to you," Hoseok goes on, hands held in either side of him in exasperation. "I have been worried out of my fucking mind for you. Every time you answer the call, all I hear is somebody else, not you. You've been holed up in this god damn house for so fucking long, it's not healthy."

Yoongi knows that, too.

He doesn't answer.

"Okay, let's do it like this. If you can tell me you're okay, and actually believe it, then I won't bother you about this anymore." Hoseok says, voice unkind. "I'll even make tea for you. Make sure that lie sounds damn believable,"

Yoongi isn't okay and Hoseok knows that.

Hoseok is expecting an answer, though.

"I want matcha,"

Hoseok is opening the cupboard filled with to the brim with tea packs and powder. He turns, looks at Yoongi with a fiery red intensity in his eyes, and says, his voice much softer now, "Yeah, I know."

Yoongi doesn't understand how Hoseok can still be so kind to him given all the weeks he'd ignored him and practically three months of constantly trying to avoid him – trying to avoid the rest of their friends, too.

He accepts the cup of tea from Hoseok, cradles it in his hands,and marvels at how warm the cup is from the boiling water, before nodding his thanks at Hoseok.

Hoseok is expecting an answer and Yoongi doesn't quite know what to tell him, if he's being honest.

But it's been three months and Yoongi still isn't on the road to actual recovery and he just feels sick – sick at himself for being such a fucking sap, sick because he's practically walled himself up after Taehyung had left, and it's not fucking fair for Taehyung to have taken the sun with him and left Yoongi with the stars he can't even see here in pathetic Seoul city.

He wants to run at Taehyung's new flat and scream outside his apartment, and demand for the sun back because the stars might be beautiful but they twinkle with a light from a thousand years ago – they're long gone, just like Taehyung.

"Hoseok," Yoongi starts, cup pushed to the side. He reaches for Hoseok and manages to grab his wrist, thin fingers curling around it. "I'm sorry,"

There is a sadness in Hoseok's gaze that makes Yoongi hate himself.

There is a sadness in Hoseok's voice when he says, "You don't have to be."

Hoseok smiles at him, sad but not unkindly, all sharp angles of his face softening at the change, "Yoongi, you still have your friends. If you wanna watch The Notebook on a loop or marathon 1 Litre of Tears, I'm with you."

And then Hoseok's pulling him into a hug, arms circling around him.

It doesn't quite feel like Taehyung's hugs because Yoongi's always felt at home in them, every single time. And while Hoseok is familiar and he loves him, of course he does, he still isn't Taehyung and Hoseok's arms aren't exactly home.

Yoongi knows that he doesn't deserve Hoseok – bright, brilliant, beautiful little Hoseok who walks on flowers and catches lightning in his spare time – but he hugs him back, anyway, because he misses the warmth of another person burning against him. Hoseok doesn't burn through him like Taehyung does but it's alright, Taehyung's the only one who can hold sunshine in his very fingertips, after all.