i'll give you the sun

part 3.

The weekend rolls in with Hoseok camping out in Yoongi's apartment.

By Sunday morning, Namjoon's welcomed himself right in and Yoongi wonders why it had seemed like such a good idea to give his house passcode to all his friends until he remembers that one time they drank drinks too hard at a bar too loud, his friends practically pouring all the drinks into his mouth. Jeongguk had crawled into his personal space sometime that night and asked what his passcode was.

3013.

Jimin asked if it meant anything.

Of course it means something, Yoongi had laughed, a bottle of tequila gripped loosely in his fingers.

He had tipped the bottle straight into his mouth, face scrunching up when Namjoon pulled it away from him.

Yoongi had tried to burn the feeling of loss and heartache with the alcohol but it didn't help so when he said, it's our birthdays, he broke down right after.

That was the first and last time Yoongi had cried in front of his friends.

They don't know that when they're all gathered together and somebody mentions Taehyung, Yoongi's heart stumbles.

They don't know that on the rare times he'd allowed himself a night out with them, he would notice an absence so heavy that not even three bottles of vodka could blur and it'd make his eyes sting so painfully.

They don't know that the mention of Kim Taehyung's name is a bucket of shame poured over and over again, on Yoongi's head.

They don't know and Yoongi thinks that it should stay that way.

While Yoongi had just wanted to listen to music, maybe order delivery and have a few beers, Namjoon had with him the complete episodes to 1 Litre of Tears – Yoongi doesn't even ask why – and a completely different idea for how to spend their Sunday.

Four episodes in and Namjoon is curled on the other side of the couch, and Hoseok is laughing somewhere in the middle because, god, Kim Namjoon, get yourself together.

It's not exactly the most dignified Sunday morning Yoongi has had but it's the first Sunday he's spent in his house with other people, and while their laughter don't bounce off the walls like Taehyung's, their loud exclaims of love will tear you apart, and constant sniffling (Hoseok's faking it and Yoongi suspects Namjoon's into this drama far too deep already) are a warm welcome for Yoongi.

The house is too large for two people but with Taehyung it had been just right.

Now it's impossibly large for one person but with his friends crying on his couch and using his credit card unabashedly to pay for the food, it doesn't feel that cold or that intimidating anymore.

Of course, the bedroom and the closet Yoongi hasn't even bothered to arrange is a different matter, altogether.

--

Monday has Yoongi driving to the company at five twenty in the morning. He hasn't slept at all the previous night. Hoseok and Namjoon had left just past ten, tight hugs and sloppy, playful wet kisses pressed to his cheeks before they shut the door behind them. They might've gone but they left a mess in their wake.

Plastic bags and paper boxes strewn all over the living room, half-empty beer bottles and at least a dozen types of unfinished food on the table. Yoongi would've cleaned up immediately if not for the oddest sensation that the house finally felt alive.

Yoongi is a ghost that wanders around the house who sometimes falls asleep outside in the balcony, no Kim Taehyung to poke him awake and bring him in. Other times, he falls asleep on the couch and there is no Kim Taehyung to turn the TV off and drape a blanket over him.