Will you remember ?

When we first met

Let me tell you , I was the girl who never believed in love .
I always thought , this is a game full of politics .
A game full of tricks and that's nothing for me .
At least , until I'm grown up .
Walking right to the train , I was blond .
Stupid thinking that blond is a good color , regretted it to the fullest .
You were a haircutter . Yeah , you remember .
Had no idea how to color hairs but promised me to do it .
Better saying , it started with lies.
It started with promises you could never keep .
But that hair promise wasn't a big deal to me.
I never thought that I would love you .
You were the type of boy I never wanted.
You were that type of boy with traditions. Talking like you will do everything traditions are saying . I hate and hated traditions . Nope , you didn't change me when it comes to this .
I was looking at you and thinking that's ok to use you , until you color my hair and then I would just say bye .
I was thinking that's mean .
At the other side , I was thinking about what my best friend is going through .
She was in love . Her boyfriend always hurted her. She always cried on my shoulders .
I was just becoming more distant to that .
Feeling like this will never happen to me. I won't allow this .
I will never fall in love . I will never fall for someone that don't respect me .
‚Im not that type of girl.'
Yeah yeah , these are this small little girls not knowing what it soul wants sometimes .
Thinking that fighting against nostalgia is easy .
Ay ay , it ain't.
And yeah , I remember hearing my mom saying , it ain't .
‚Ah yeah mom , it is mom . It's easy mom .
Maybe it wasn't for you . For me is easy . ‚
I was listening , not feeling it .
We became so close and just so strange at the beginning .
Well , what else can we  actually be at the beginning .Strangers.
It's the fact that , when you talk about love , everything becomes so magical , even though everything is fucked up.
‚Don't talk like that .' That's what my momma would say right now.
‚At least about love .'
Oh yeah , my momma is long time happy with my dad . She won't even understand.
Congrats mom , you made it .
And how ?
Nobody can help a relationship , when the other one is playing .
Instead of sleeping now , I'm writing about you .
About how it used to be .
Fuck how it used to be .
But you were my everything . I loved every single detail and I will really never understand . Never ever understand why we left .
Why would you play with me the last day , with that :'' I won't kiss you today .''
So , you knew it ?
You were planing to leave ? How could it be so easy ? Tell me one day . Call me , text me .
How could you?
He didn't color my hair .
I decided to stay blond . I said it's ok . Fuck the color . Let's hang out.
So , now you asking how it happened ?
You were so clever . You talked to me so fine and looked at me so sexy . You just provoked on everything . And I like provoking .
I didn't like a lot of things before I met you , but I started liking them.
Funny that the beginning was being strangers and the end to !
I wouldn't actually leave you for nothing .
It was your choice . You making me cold .
I didn't even feel my own heart . Felt like it's there and I knew it , but never even asked what it wants.
We hong out everyday . I saw you everyday.
Even if I didn't want to love you , you just pulled me in. You knew what you're doing .
I just don't know why ? I mean , making me crazy wasn't easy you knew that .
And I guess that was the point . You wanted somebody that is hard to get and you wanted this so much you wouldn't give up .
Just to hurt me. And maybe you've been hurted before .
And I didn't have any bad intention . I just wanted to love you.
I just wanted to be beside you and tie your tie before you leave to work .
Wanted to open the door and ask you for a bath after work and talk to you all the time about this life and about us .
Don't y'all want this kind of wife ?
Im asking myself , why didn't you ?
Showing up like you're sad and through that I found out that you're not. Cause you was acting , just acting like that  . And I'm not that stupid , nah !
I started liking you . Maybe directly loving you .
People you don't like at the beginning are the baddest .
They so dangerous .
They so good at the beginning you won't realize .
They just get your heart with their fake character and they act like they know and can do everything .
And they can do anything yes . To you.
And you let them . Well , I did .
Back to the story .
We used to hang out everyday .
I saw you in the city , held you tight and kissed your life . I kissed your forehead , loved you so honest .
I was always loyal . Even after you went .
Crazy right?
I loved touching you like that and believing we will be forever .
Seeing you everyday it felt like I'm blessed.
Started being late for home . Having problems with the family .
I didn't even care , I had you .
I had everything with you .
I lost my best friend because of you and I fucked up my school .
I was so cool to them , cause I knew, losing them is nothing , losing you is losing everything .
My sister didn't even listen to me .
My brother forgot that I exist . He hated me for this .
I couldn't even talk to anyone about you.
They would always say you're playing with me .
They told me I started talking different , thinking and moving different , acting different ...
I remember , i started becoming like you.
I would like your character so much , I started changing mine.
I absolutely wanted to be like you. Everything like you.
Every move , every word .. no promises .
I started becoming the real character of the fake one you showed me .
I was becoming you and I was becoming something I wanted to .
Even the tone of my talk was the same.
I wanted to be you. At the same time still having you special .
Holding your hand through the city and being so proud to have you .
Like you would pay my bills man.
Back to talking sad , I was really thinking you were a bless . But you were a lesson .
We were everyday together . Everyday just falling more and more .
I don't know what you felt but , I will tell mine .
To be continued ====>