Green and blue hydrangeas

CHAPTER 7

(A/N: This chapter has an NSFW mention, I'll mark it so you don't have to read if you don't want to.)

Ben awoke, bleary eyed and confused.

'Where am I?' He asked himself.

He remembered the previous night. He never had the chance to go home. He noticed an odd weight on his chest. Looking down, he saw Alto asleep, looking too cute for his own good.

'Well fuck, I can't move now, he'll wake up.' Ben looked at him, noting his soft snores and how peaceful he looked. 'I can watch him like this forever.' He smiled, thinking of how he'd like to see Alto so calm and cute more often.

Alto stirred from his slumber. He looked around, confused as to why he wasn't in bed. He soon got an answer as he lifted his arm to stretch bumping one hand into Ben. Surprised, he turned to look at him. Ben was a mess. A handsome mess in Al's eyes. Uncombed hair, glasses askew, day old clothing, all pieces in the oddly comforting picture of an unkempt Kondraki. They did nothing for a moment before clustering, embarrassed at the idea of falling asleep wrapped up with one another. Alto pulled away and Ben almost objected, enjoying the heat that he provided. The room was now weighted with tension. The disaster of the previous night had not yet left their minds.

"So..." Ben started, in a feeble attempt to diffuse the air.

Alto didn't meet his eyes. "So.."

"Look, I'm- I'm sorry, for not getting help sooner, my dislike of doctors shouldn't be an excuse. I thought I could ignore it. I didn't know how bad it was up until last night."

Alto walked over to him, his eyes tired and lips pulled into a ghost of a smile. "Apology accepted since you're getting help." He said, grazing the conjunction where his beard met his cheekbone with his knuckles.

This made Ben loudly blush, and state the obvious. "Al, this isn't very heterosexual of you."

"Well," He said, giggling."maybe I'm not a very heterosexual person."

Ben responded by touching his jaw, smoothing his thumb over the eve of his facial hair. Alto blushed deeply. His eyes brightened and pupils dilated. Ben couldn't tell how long they stood there revelling in the affection of each other but he knew that they stayed there for much longer than was considered platonic. Ben loved the physical affection that came with being friends with Alto. He'd known little of this kind of affection before he met Al. He couldn't get enough when finally used to it. After a few moments they separated. Both blushing madly and calmed from each others touch. Together they walked down to Ben's car and said their goodbyes.

Ben got home. His heart still pounded in his chest and his mind was centered on Clef. After he shut his bathroom door he swooned. Swooned. A first for him. He shook his head, attempting to clear his mind and focus on bathing. As he prepared the bath, his mind kept wandering back to Clef.

'He's just so wonderful' It told him. 'why not always think of him?'

Ben's mind began to clear as he started up the water and undressed. The familiar rhythm of preparation pulling his thoughts away from Clef. For a few weeks now he'd been exclusively taking saltwater infused baths, sitting in them till they were cold. The saltwater mixed with the steamy air wilted the flowers and slowed their progress. It made breathing much easier. It was also relaxing. Relaxing to the point where Ben had fallen asleep more than once only to wake with wrinkly fingers and an aching ass. He occasionally threw in a bath bomb or lit scented candles. They had no purpose other than being pretty and smelling nice. He stepped in, allowing himself to acclimate to the heat before getting in fully and plugging the drain. Within a few minutes he was sitting in the bath, book in hand, enjoying the calm quiet. After he'd finished the chapter he was reading he put his book and glasses up on a nearby shelf and washed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Light NSFW stuff~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As he sat down again to let his conditioner sit, his mind wandered back to Alto. Specifically, his lips and hands. His lips were plump and perfectly curved, a bit chapped, but great for kissing. His hands had less callosus than Ben had thought. They were rough, but not enough to really be uncomfortable to touch. His hands and lips felt great against his own.

'I wonder what they'd feel like wrapped around my-' Ben immediately halted his thoughts.

He threw his head under the water, staying there till he couldn't stand holding his breath anymore. He pulled himself up, guilt welling in his chest. He shouldn't ever think of Clef like that. Never. Alto wasn't a sexual person and certainly shouldn't be considered one. Ben felt disgusted with himself. It was bad that he liked Alto so much when he surely didn't feel the same, worse considering what he'd done to Al. He washed his face vigorously, as if trying to scrub away his feelings for his friend. Despite his efforts, Ben was still very turned on and ashamed. He attempted to push his mind to different things that turned him on but that only resulted in Clef centered fantasies.

'Why not just let yourself go for a bit? It's not like anyone is watching. It isn't even real, so why are you worrying? You deserve a break, a minute to relax, and think about him in a way you've wanted to for so long.' His mind told him.

As stubborn as he was to others influence, he was weak kneed to his own. He gave in, allowing himself to loosen up for the first time in weeks after ignoring his needs for fear of aggravating his condition. By the time he'd finished he felt shameful yet satisfied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The water had turned cold by now and he was exhausted. He towelled off, dressed for bed and fell asleep almost as soon as he hit the mattress. He went to work until Thursday, opting to call in sick and uphold his promise of visiting a doctor. Meanwhile Clef was glad to hear that he'd not come in.