Leftovers

Hakuna Fucking Matata

"I told you we should've used the self check-out service," Christian hissed into Reese's ear, watching as the Walmart worker who looked like a college drop-out scanned their two cartons of eggs, toilet paper, and a can of washable spray paint.

"And I told you to shut up so-

"Are you guys like planning to trash someone's house or something?" The guy asked, his voice groggy from working the graveyard shift.

"No!" Reese exclaimed too loudly, "We're just..." she laughed, looking at Christian for back up, but before he could think of some idiotic excuse the stoner narrowed his eyes and said," Would you be interested in a TP canon?"

Both of them were quietly surprised at the cashier's offer, and Christian expected him to turn them in for formulating and gathering materials to damage property. He was about to turn him down, but Reese placed her elbow on the counter, her palm to her chin with one eyebrow quirked, "Continue."

The worker laughed and from under his check out counter he pulled out his TP canon which was a leaf blower with a bent metal rod taped to the top, "You basically stick the toilet paper into the rod, turn it on, and let it fly."

"How much?" Reese asked, intrigued.

"For you, 20 bucks."

"Deal!"

Christian gawked at her, "You gotta be kidding me. What kind of person carries around a TP canon?!"

"What kind of person doesn't?"

They left the store with the materials for an act of proper revenge, and luckily, Miles and his gang were long gone. Christian lead Resse to his car and shoved the bags into the backseat as she hopped onto the front as if they did this every day. He started the engine and swiftly backed out of the parking lot in silence.

"This is so weird," Reese bit her lips, looking out of the window.

Her lips were naturally pink and look soft as hell when she kept biting it.

"Don't you usually do stuff like this?" Christian asked and regretted it the moment her pink lips curved into a tight frown.

"As much as you want to believe it, Christian. No, I've never gotten into a car with a guy who I've just met to go fuck up my nemesis's house. Well, actually once, but I had nothing to with it so it didn't count."

Her arms were crossed, and Christian smiled to himself, "Neither have I."

Reese fixed on her eyes on him, "I know," she hissed, shaking her head at each word.

"What?"

Now it was his turn to feel scrutinized," I do stuff. I'm a gangster."

Christian outwardly cringed at what he'd just said and could feel heat spreading across his cheeks. Reese's only reply was another scoff and flicked her gaze to the window.

They were outside of town square where houses became more sparse and farther apart. As he said, Greenfield Arizona was a small town. They had a Walmart that was basically the local grocery store, a gas station, the movie hanger that started up five years ago, and three very small schools. Everyone knew each other and because of that, Christian started to question what he was about to do.

Before he could back out, Reese hopped in her seat and squealed, "We're here! That's his house."

She was like a toddler at Christmas, pointing at Miles's two-story brick house like it was fucking Santa Claus. Christian remembered this place very vividly. He and Davin went to Miles's 15th birthday party that he refused to call a birthday party but rather a "gettogether". A few girls also came, and they sat in the basement playing spend the bottle and truth or dare. Like always, Miles's parents weren't home, and his thousand-year-old babysitter was passed out. So they stole wine of his mom's cabinet and drank themselves drunk. Christian refused to take a single sip, so Miles called him a pussy while Davin laughed.