The Marauders: Year One (female)

22. Dissendium

Sirius snickered and elbowed Jamie as they sat in a greenhouse which Professor Sprout had magically dimmed. 'What lovely earmuffs you've got there,' she said, in a posh, affected accent.

Jamie smirked. 'Well, they are rather fabulous if I do say so myself,' she said, in a rather poor imitation of the voice that came to Sirius so easily.

'What's stomata?' Sirius asked, as Jamie frowned at her bad impression. 'Guess it's just not mint to be.'

'I can't dill with you two right now,' snapped Remus, trying to hear Sprout's droning through the commotion.

Sirius grinned. 'That was a blooming good pun, and I'm rooting for you.'

Remus sighed, but smiled internally. 'Oh, leaf me alone, you.'

A tendril of Devil's Snare snaked it's way over Petra's shoulder, and Petra squeaked, as Remus warded it off with a sharp burst of light.

'Thanks,' Petra shivered.

Jamie and Sirius were both posing in their fluffy pink ear muffs, and were sucking their cheeks in and puckering their lips to look like models in magazines.

Remus rolled her eyes.

A few tables down, Lillian was chatting to an enthusiastic Hufflepuff, who seemed all too enthralled with Lillian's green eyes and deep coloured hair. Remus turned away quickly, hoping not to bring Jamie's attention to it. If she noticed, all hell would break loose.

Sirius saw Remus looking, and a sort of exchange went through their eyes. Sirius nodded meaningfully at her, and redoubled her efforts in being stupid and distracting her.

Sirius was surprised Professor Sprout did not catch them and take away points, but she seemed engaged with Greta Catchlove's intrepid questioning.

She cast repeated glances out of the corner of her eye at Joanne Podmore and Lillian. Joanne was shyly tucking long strands of her light brown hair behind her ear. Sirius heard her invite Lillian to hang out with her sometime.

Lillian smiled at her. 'Of course.' He thought Joanne was a rather nice girl -- funny, cheerful, and bubbly. He wouldn't mind being friends with her. Merlin knew he needed friends. And it would be good to have connections in other houses as well.

Frankie snorted indelicately as she saw Joanne purposely touch Lillian's hand. 'Would you look at that?' she whispered, mud striped across her cheek. Sirius hoped it wasn't Mooncalf Dung.

She closed her eyes with dread as Jamie turned to look. Remus did the same.

'What?' asked Jamie, before falling silent at what she saw.

Her face darkened. 'What's that Hufflepuff doing with him?' she said venomously, spitting out the word Hufflepuff  like it was more poisonous than the Devil's Snare.

Sirius quickly tried to get her attention back with more dumb puns, but it took a while before Jamie would stop glaring at Joanne so fiercely that Sirius was surprised poor Joanne couldn't feel it. Even then, Jamie's eyes kept drifting towards the two of them.

When the lesson was over, and the First Year Gryffindor and Hufflepuffs were packing their bags and filing out, Jamie knocked Lillian's book out of his hand in purpose.

'Oi!' exclaimed Lillian indignantly.

As they both bent down to pick it up, and their heads met in the middle, Jamie whispered, 'No need to keep extending more -- uh, olive branches to other houses, love.'

She looked meaningfully at Joanne, who was waving to Lillian from the door.

Lillian looked confused, then his face flushed red with anger as he retrieved the book and shoved it deep in his bag. 'Don't try to dictate my life, Potter, you absolute toerag. Keep your own fat nose in your own business, and I'll do the same. And don't call me love!'