Undecided Love

The Day B4

I was in the kitchen cleaning up the mess i made for dinner waiting for Zen to come home. He got another role in some upcoming film. I was happy and excited for him. I kinda went all out just a little to much. I cooked stakes, rice, sushi, ham, mac and cheese. Steamed vegetables. Backed potato's...oh! Ice cream! Home made at that! Cake, fruit salad fruit pie...yeah i cooked a lot. I giggled at my success smiling as I finished setting up the table. I heard the door open and close waiting to see Zen figure come around the corner.
" (y/n) im home! Something smells good! What......" zen walked into the kitchen then look towards the dinner table shocked with his mouth wide open. "Surprise!!" I yelled smiling at zen watching him step closer to me smiling and kissing my head. This is what i love. I love seeing him happy and smiling at me. I still feel that little appreciation he has for me. "Lets eat! and you can tell me about your day." "Okay but you go first." He said smiling at me. Leading me to my seat.

We sat and ate only about a slither of the food and dessert. Joked and talked. I was really happy i just wish it would last longer. As i look at him. His beautiful smile on his bright pale skin, his beautiful red eyes that sprinkle when meeting mines, his white hair and that beautiful face, he is right there but he feels so far away. His job is just reaching its peek. He wasn't as known as he is now. He is at least a D class celebrity. When we met he was just coming up. I was just a girl working at an cafe at the time and he would stop by on my breaks just to talk to me. I was happy. But now it like i have to cherish that little time i have with him. Because tomorrow....tomorrow I'll be lonely again. "So tomorrow I promise after rehearsal is over which will be at 1pm I promise to come straight home and spend our anniversary together. Doing whatever you like" zen smiled watching me, bring me out of my thoughts. "Really?" I lit up smiling happily at this "are you sure that won't interfere with anything?" He shook his head no looking at me with his red eyes determined as ever. "I know i been busy and not around and making feel unwanted but I promise I'll make it up to you. I wanna show you how much you mean to me, so tomorrow" i smiled at zen not saying a word but getting up and kissing his lips passionately and softly, holding the side of his face rubbing it softly with my thumb. Feeling his arms wrap around my small waist sitting me down on his lap. We broke for air and smiled at each other. "I love you zen" he smiled and picked me up by my thighs "I'll show you how much i love you more" he winked at me. Feeling my ears burn and my face reddened. Zen chuckles at my reaction but carries me to our bed room.
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The next morning, i woke up in bed with a note and a single rose next to me. Smiling remember about last night and now the effort he is putting in and going to be putting in. I smelled the rose looking at the note. "Dear beautiful, I left to rehearsal early I don't wanna disturb your perfect and beautiful sleep. Oh how i wish i could stay in bed naked with you. Wink. Wink. But I'll be home soon. Your dress will arrive around noon. The driver will be there around 1 to take you to the restaurant. I'll be their waiting. Love you. Zen" i giggled at the note and looked at the clock. "11:40....i slept the day away...this is all zen fault" I slipped outta bed getting in the shower feeling refreshed and energized and excited for the day.

1pm came around faster then expected. The dress came around 12:30. It was a beautiful sleeveless (F/C) dress, with a slit going up the left side of my leg stopping at the tight. And v-neck showing off the twins. And a little train at the bottom. The dress was shaped perfectly showing off my curves he also got earrings to match and heels. I smiled at myself as i styled my (h/l). I did a nude color makeup nothing exra or over the top just something to make me glow.
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Once I arrive to the restaurant it was almost 2. I hope he wont be upset. I had butterflies in my stomach and pretty nervous on the way here. Why am i so nervous? I sighed and walked into the restaurant gasping at the beautiful pearl white walls the helps balance the ocean blue theme. I smiled admiring everything around. "Hello Ms. do you have a reservation?" I look at the host smiling. "Oh. Yes. It should be under zen? Have he not arrived yet?" "Oh no you are the first. Please this way." I frowned at what she said following her to the top floor sitting at the window smiling at the host watching her leave. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. It was only 2:30. Maybe traffic or rehearsal kept him late. I sighed staring out the window watching everyone pass by and the lights light up the beautiful city blow.
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I checked my phone and it was 5:45. I frowned at the time. I called and called. Sent messages and messages, worrying about zen. It's our anniversary today. Today marks the day i been with zen. 4years today mark the day we been together. Its sad how he plans this and i was the only one here. I sighed as i took a sip of my wine hearing my phone buzz. I quickly answered assuming it was zen. "Zen! Where in the hell are you!?".... "huh? (Y/n) its not zen. And i called you to let you know Zen isn't going to make tonight. He told me to tell you."  "Oh choi. Its you." I sighed disappointed. "Hay!! What i tell you!! Luciel!! The name is Luciel!!! Don't say call me Choi!!" I sighed not really in the mood for his yelling. "Thank you choi" i hung up before I could hear anymore of his yelling. feelings defended and depressed i got up and left. I feel so foolish. Maybe something you just can't change. Is this how i want my life to go? Lonely and unimportant. Do he actually love me? It's 4 years and not even a ring is placed on my finger.

Once I arrived at home zen wasn't there. I took everything off putting on my pjs calling him and trying again. I cut on the tv flipping through channels....but something made me stop.....

"Zen the famous actor/ model was last spotted entering this hotel with the beautiful and famous Nadia Marie!! They been in their since 1:30 this afternoon! They only left once to only get something to eat which we been told was an date!!! They have been seeing each other for quite some time! An insider told us!!" The reported said on one of those celebrity's stakeouts.

I was in tears. Date? Seeing each other? Then a picture of them smiling and her clinging to him hurt my chest. I packed my things and decided it was over. All the signs have been proven me right. Its done. I felt sick to my stomach and left. I never turned back. He was happy with out me. He never loved me and needed me in the beginning.