Swan 2

7. Shaking

7. Shaking

I couldn't feel myself changing at the time. I was engulfed in this golden, happy feeling that filled my chest and made me laugh. I sat in the garage of Rachel's house for New Year's Eve, surrounded by Zane's friends and Zane's arm around my shoulders. The bong sat on my lap, Zane lit it with one hand and I inhaled deeply, clutching onto the glass with both hands. And I could feel a cough coming up from my lungs. I didn't like coughing much when I smoked, even though Zane and his friends coughed as well, I felt inferior to them when I coughed. But the more I held this cough in, the stronger the urge became and soon enough, I coughed into the bong.

Bong water spilled all over my lap and I quickly sat up straight, coughing up a storm. Zane rubbed my arm and Jake quickly took the bong from me.

"I'm...sorry," I said between coughs, laughing a little. "I'm fucking stupid."

"No," Zane smiled. "It happens all the time don't worry about it."

At the moment Rachel popped her head into the garage, I developed this intense thirst. My coughs became heavier and I could no longer breathe.

I reached out for Rachel. "I...I need water." I managed to choke out.

And with an incredible sense of urgency, Rachel brought me up to my feet and led me out of the garage and into the house to get water. I walked into a house with people playing beer pong, liquor, and weed. Everyone was happy and alive. It truly felt like such a good dream and for once in my life, things didn't feel real in a good way. My eyes shot around the house, taking in the entire scene. It felt as if I were walking in slow motion. I stumbled as people sped past me, I couldn't keep up and it was frustrating. The edges of my vision blurred and I laughed at how incredibly stupid I felt.

I'm not high! I thought. Of course I'm not high! I know what's going on! I can snap out of it! But I couldn't, I truly couldn't.

"S-stop moving so fast!" I blurted out to Rachel as she handed me the water and I chugged it. "Or maybe I'm moving slow? I don't know!"

"You're walking fine." Rachel laughed as Zane walked into the kitchen and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey! C'mon, I'm gonna show you how to play beer pong like a pro!" Zane smiled.

And before I knew it, Zane had me at the beer pong table. He stood behind me, pressed up against me. One hand grasped my waist and the other hand on my left hand with the ball. At the end of table were red cups lined up and his friend stood at the other end.

"Okay," he murmured in my ear. "Just aim like this..."

The pot had definitely heightened my senses, all I could feel was his touch and his heat. I couldn't concentrate on the words he was saying, but the deep rumble of his voice hypnotized me. I stood stiff, my face hot.

"Dude! You're confusing her!" His friend argued.

"Nuhuh! I'm explaining it just fine. I'm the king of beer pong remember?" Zane scoffed.

"She's completely confused you could see it on her face." His friend laughed.

Zane moved to take a look at my expression and I broke away from his grasp, backing away from him shyly and blushing. "I'm sorry, I'm just not so good at paying attention. And to be completely honest, I'm not good with hand eye coordination."

"Awh, but I need a beer pong partner!" Zane beamed.

Our eyes met for just a second and his radiance overwhelmed me. My eyes shot back down to the ground and my face heated up. I shook my head adamantly. I definitely didn't want to be the reason he lost a game of beer pong.