Swan 2

2. Scorpion

2. Scorpion

I found myself showing up at Zane's house around 7pm with my friend Kate. My mother dropped me off and Zane turned on the charm, promising her that he wouldn't "let me do anything stupid". Zane also had another friend over, B-Mac. I remembered B-Mac from Zane's shows and other events. He was a sort of full time stoner. He couldn't live without weed and he was a complete idiot. But it was entertaining to watch him fall all over himself and fuck up his life. It's a terrible thing to admit, but he wouldn't accept any help and wouldn't help himself. What else were we to do? B-Mac was a tall, chubby guy with the body of a 19 year old but the face of a 12 year old. I couldn't ever see B-Mac living past the age of 21-25.

Zane, B-Mac, Kate and I sat in the backyard at a round table in the patio. It was a strange thing really. 2 years ago I couldn't have ever imagined myself here, with these people on Friday the 13th. And here I was with my best friend, both of us so numb and dead on the inside. And across the table sat a pothead idiot and the radiant love of my life. It'd been months after the incident at the party and everyone had seemed to forgotten about it. It seemed to be erased from my past and my conscious felt clear.

B-Mac began packing the weed into the little bowl on the table, his concentration focused on the green substance in his hands. Zane kicked his feet up on the table and I propped mines up on Kate's lap.

"So Zane...," I sighed, leaning my head back to look up at the stars in the sky. "You owe me 50 bucks don't you? Where's it now?"

"I left it my dad's house," he shrugged. "I'll get it to you don't worry."

"What? In another month? Zane, I gave you 100 bucks last month for you to buy that bong. I expected 50 back and I still don't have that money back," I shook my head. "You spent it didn't you?"

"No! That's your money why would I do that?" Zane sat up straight taking his feet off the table.

"C'mon dude...," B-Mac groaned, he spoke slow and unsteadily. "Stop being a pussy about it and fuss up. Tell 'er the truth."

"What?" My attention averted to B-Mac. "What's the truth? He spent it didn't he, B-Mac?"

"No I didn't!" Zane argued. "B-Mac is just trying to start shit as usual! He doesn't know what the fuck he's saying!"

B-Mac chuckled and took a hit from the pipe and then offered it to Zane. "Here, bro, you'll need it."

Zane rolled his eyes but took the pipe and took a hit, blowing out the smoke steadily. Then he looked me dead in the eyes. "You'll get the money back, Audrey. It's at my dad's house."

"You bought a new pipe because they ran out of bongs. A pipe that I know costs $15. Then you bought food that was like $10 and apparently you have my $50 at home. Technically, I'm supposed to really be getting back $75. What the hell did you do with the extra $25?"

"You know he bought bud." B-Mac chuckled.

"Shut the fuck up B-Mac!" Zane fumed.

"I figured," I sighed. "I'll let you off the hook this time. But I expect my $50 back really soon."

"Wait, wait. I'm sorry to interrupt," B-Mac waved his hand in between me and Zane's faces. "But tell me if I'm wrong," he pointed at me. "Wife," pointed at Zane. "Husband."

Zane laughed and I shot a look at B-Mac. "I'm flattered, really. But this isn't a hypothetical situation. This is real money. A real situation. I'm not fucking playing."

He laughed. "You know Audrey. You're like a goddess or something."

"Oh my god, shut up," Zane shook his head. "You said the same fucking thing about Krystal."

Krystal was yet another girl Zane has been attracted to that wasn't me. She was a party chick, she liked to sleep around, drink, smoke...and she had a boyfriend. Krystal was an Abigail number 2. Although we had never met, my jealousy decided for me that I didn't like her. I couldn't really help that. But I was determined to make sure she didn't hate me the same way Abigail had.

"No no, I said Krystal had the BODY of a goddess. Audrey is the full package. It's just that she's young. And one day, she'll BLOOM like a beautiful flower and be the full goddess she is." B-Mac nodded.

I laughed. "That's sweet. Thank you B-Mac."

***

Later that night I found myself sitting on the couch in the living room with Kate. Zane had invited more people over and he was off mingling while I sat in my own little bubble. What could I say? I wasn't a party person. At least 5 other people showed up. They sat in a circle, smoking bud. They laughed and seemed so extremely connected with each other. And maybe I longed for that. I wished to connect with people and feel genuinely interested in what they had to say and offer. I wanted to step out of my bubble, my comfort zone, and smoke a bowl with them and feel confident doing it. And so I glanced over at Kate.

"If I do it will you do it?" was all I asked.

"You know, I was about to ask the same thing." She smiled.

I sat next to Zane on the cold, marble floor. "Pass me that bowl." I gestured toward it.

Zane's eyes widened and his mouth opened in a wide smile. "Ohhhh! I knew this day would come!" I looked at his friend whom was at the other side of the circle. "Hey! Alaska! We've got a first timer! Could we use your bud?"

"Oh my god! It'd be an honor!" Alaska passed his pipe over to us.

Of course, Zane wasn't aware that it wasn't my first time. But he didn't need to know. No need to ruin his golden moment. Zane held the pipe up to my mouth. It was wooden and carved to be a scorpion. He lit it, and smiling, he told me to suck through the little nozzle at the end. So I did. And as Kate went to take her first hit I sat there, completely unaffected. And it was then when I realized, it was nothing. It wore you down just a bit, but it was absolutely nothing if it was trustworthy weed. It was like the opposite of drinking expresso coffee.

"How do you feel?" Zane asked.

"Alright, I didn't really feel much. Just a little sleepy." I shrugged.

"Yeah," he smiled. "That's how you're supposed to feel."

And at that moment, Krystal and her friends arrived. I hadn't known she was coming, nor did I care at the moment. She was the least of my concerns. But I found myself constantly glancing at her, trying to soak in every detail of her to later compare to myself. I couldn't take in much due to the fact my vision was horribly impaired and I was practically blind. I had to squint at times. She looked nothing like how I'd seen her in pictures.

I leaned over to Kate. "Is she prettier than me?" I whispered.

"Nah, I don't think so." Kate murmured back.

"Good."