Just this Night (Completed)

Sunset

Ethan's POV

This is her last night. Lalapitan ko ba? Kakausapin ko ba? T@#ng*n@ nakakabato. Natatakot ako. Pero bahala na, this might be my last chance. I'll grab it in any way.

She is on the shoreline, sitting alone thinking about God knows what. I miss knowing those thoughts.

"Miss, tatabi ako sayo."

She looks at me, she is still the same. Chinky eyes, small cute note, soft supple lips bit she looks fierce and feisty now. Gone that little innocent lady she was.

"Fucker?" she said, I was taken aback for a moment. Then I smiled at her, amused at what she said. It's so unlike her. But my heart still trembles. "Whoa, having a bad day, huh?" I said.

But she didn't answer instead she looked away, I feel pain for a moment. Does her heart go stoic?

For a moment, I already want to go away and not bother her. But this is the last chance I might have in this lifetime. I sat beside her and wait until she does something. We stay there for a couple of minutes before she stands up. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"None of your business buddy." I panic nang sabihin niya yun. Ano na Ethan? Anon na ang gagawin mo buddy?!

I grab her arm in panic. She was caught off guard and I ask "Can I join you?"

T@ng@, pano pag humindi? Pano na?

"Whatever, up to you." I felt relieved by what she response. It's so unlike her but thanks, God.

I join her watching the parade of the fireflies outside our resort, I am holding her hand the whole time. I miss this, I miss her so much. But the more I look at her, the more I see how at ease and at peace she is. No worries, no pain. Just pure bliss of relief and inner peace. I feel so small and unsure now. I want this back, I want her back. But, will she be this peaceful with me? Will she be like this with me in her life? I will surely won't let her down this time. I want my second chance with her. I will do it.

We are about to enter the resort when I stop walking then pull and hug her so tight that I don't want to let her go. My face is on her shoulder, I was sobbing with tears. I don't care anymore. She cannot understand all of this, I know. This is all one-sided now. She has her life again. The life that broke when I left her 2 years ago. She was so sure of me when I was so confused about life. I was so sure of her but, doubts and lack of self-esteem consumed me. She had a mental breakdown when I left her, that damage her mental state and memories.

I suddenly feel so selfish thinking of her mental battles after me. Now I want her back? She's starting a new and I am here trying to penetrate to her life again. Paranag g*g@ ko lang. I made up my mind.

I stop crying and face her. My lovely Noelle, you're no longer mine, I note to myself.

"Thank you for today. I'm really am grateful for knowing you." I said. She raised her left brow and said "Well technically, you don't know me. You don't know my name."

I know your beautiful name baby, I wanted to say but I made up my mind. I will stop the chase. I had my chance and I blew it away. She's okay now. Figuring things out again. But, happier than what I made her feel when I left. 

"It's okay, being with you for a few hours is more than knowing your name" I said finally, and I looked at her face one last time memorizing all the things that I once had. Then walk away.

The night ended with the best just decision I had my entire life. Knowing that second chances might be real but choosing the safer path for her is better. Risk is all I have for her, and the risk I don't want to take for her.

In life we just have one chance and we only have one life. 

Noelle will be embedded in me forever. I don't know what the future may hold. But I know my life will go on no matter what. Knowing that Noelle once loved me is more than enough to have a memory of a lifetime even if she chose to regret and forget me now.