People with chronic pain and illness want everyone in their lifes to know these important things about them
If you're seeing this and are a family member or friend of a person who is ill, you must be pretty important.
• Don't be upset if I seem on edge. I do the best I can every day to feel "normal". I'm exhausted and sometimes I snap.
• I find it very hard to concentrate at times for a lot of reasons. Pain, drugs, lack of sleep....I'm sorry if I lose focus.
• Letting my loved ones and friends down by cancelling plans is heart breaking to me. I want more than anything to be as active as and do the things I used to do.
• My health can change daily. Sometimes hourly. There are a lot of reasons this happens. Weather, stress, flare-ups etc....
I can assure you that I hate it just as much as you do.
• I don't like to whine. I don't like to complain. Sometimes I just need to vent. And when this happens I'm not asking for pity or attention. I just need an ear to bend and a hand to hold.
• During rough times. I find it hard to describe how bad it is. When I say "I'm fine" and you know I'm not, it's okay to ask questions. Just be prepared if the flood gates open because "I'm fine" is often times a code for "I'm trying to hold it together, but having a rough time. I'm on the edge".
• If I'm hurting bad enough to tell you about it without being asked, please know that it's really bad.
• When you reach out to me with suggestions to help me feel better, I know that you mean well. If it was as simple as popping a new pill, eating differently or trying a different doctor. I've most likely already tried it and was disappointed.
• All I truly want from you is friendship, love, support and understanding. It means everything to me.
• When someone gives me a pep talk, I understand the sentiment. Chronic illnes doesn't just go away. I wish it did too. I appreciate you wanting the best for me, but save the pep talk for the kids next volleyball game, or the gym.
• It hurts worst than you could possibly imagine when I'm thought of as last, unreliable or selfish.
Nothing is further from the truth.
• I do a lot of silly things to distract myself because any part of my life not consumed with pain is a good part.
• The simplest tasks can completely drain me. Please know that I do the best I can everyday with what I have.
• Come to me with any question you may have about my condition. I love you and would much rather tell you about this face to face without judgement.
