Complications

Jac

I left her in peace in my office, the do not disturb sign up outside, just to make sure she could really feel safe. It's important that she has that safe space. If she didn't have it, then I don't know what would happen, but guaranteed, the outcome would not be a good one. I went off to find her patient after their scan, check up on them and explain that Dr March just needed a break, and that I would be taking over their case. I gave them a small smile and went to sit at the nurses station and study their scans.

I saw Oliver walking towards my office, before he realised the do not disturb sign was up nd he turned back.
"I'm over here" I said, loud enough for him to hear.
"So why is.."
"Zosia's in there, she needed a break, some peace and quiet. You know how it is"
He nodded and came over to the nurses station, sitting down on the chair opposite me.
"Is she alright?" He asked.
"She's fine, she just had a few moments and I decided she needed to cool off for a bit."
"Of course."
"Why do you say that like that?"
"I don't know, that's just how I speak."

I turned back to my scans for a minute before hearing a bang from my office and looking up abruptly. I looked at Valentine and stood up, walked over to my office door, and knocked gently. I opened the door a crack, enough to slip through, and went over to Zosia, cautious not to upset her more than she needed to be.
"Talk to me Zosh, you know you can, right?" I said, calmly.
She signalled to the large book she'd thrown on the floor. "I can't understand anything today. Jac, I can't. I don't understand.. it's like my brain, has just... stopped"
Her voice was starting to all merge together in a flurry of confusion and panic. I took Zosia in my arms and led her back over to the sofa. "Zosia, just breathe. Take a nice big breath for me, I know you can do it."
It was almost like she hadn't heard me, or couldn't hear me. Her words didn't stop, they were like a flood, no, a tsunami. But she couldn't help it. I tried again, and this time, she heard. "Zosia, take a lovely big breath for me"
She did so, and started to calm down, her words slowing, along with her breathing. I didn't let go of her for a few minutes, I had to make sure she was okay before I did.

I left her laid on the sofa once again, but stayed in my office this time, wanting to keep an eye on her, make sure she was okay. She was one of the strongest people I'd ever known, but she was just so vulnerable, it was hard to see that side of her sometimes. With her bipolar hitting hard some days, even on medication, and other days not turning up at all, it was sometimes hard to see the real her.

I sat at my desk, clicking through emails, singing off paperwork, and scrolling through albums of Emma on my phone. When I looked up, I realised Zosia had dosed off, so I left her a note telling her to page me if she needed me, and slipped out attend to my patient.