The World Beneath the Surface

Before we lost Mom, she was a marine biologist. She was the type of woman you looked up to. The one you wanted to be like when you were grown up.

She loved everything about the water. That's why I'm almost glad she isn't here with me to see this now.

From here to there it's garbage. Plastic containers and sunglasses. I can see used cigarettes and bottles and things you see in landfills. I hate the idea of what it might look like underneath.

Dad looks at me from the other side of the boat. The man who'd been the only one we could find that would drive us out this far taps his fingers on an oxygen tank. The man asks what Dad is afraid to.

"You sure about this?"

He looks apprehensive over this. Maybe because we're really not supposed to go this far. Sometimes I wonder if the world is just trying to hide how bad it's really getting.

I nod. Dad is nervous, but I don't bother trying to reassure him. He knows that I want to see this. That I need to.

The water hits me hard and it bubbles in front of me. I wait for my vision to get better and realize that it isn't, so I turn on a light instead.

When I look up it's a nightmare.

The sun is gone, a nightmarish sky covering it. From where light does seep through, I can see all the things floating around. It hurts to see that there's almost no wildlife. It seems all of them are dead or have moved on. My throat feels sore. I can almost see Mom's outline, head in her hands to cover the tears she never liked to show anyone. She's not here physically, but I know this would hurt her from wherever she was if she saw it.

I look around for anything at all. A school of fish passing by. A swarm of sharks making their way through the area. I don't see any. My mind flashes back to when Mom had told me that the creatures in the water weren't so scary. I remember her defending them. It's not their fault, she said. They just want to live.

I catch sight of something so familiar that it pains me to see it here. A seahorse. They were Mom's favorite. She stares at me like a phantom of my own imagination, and then I see the small plastic ring hanging from the back of her tail. Carefully and slowly, I take it off, crushing it into a ball in my fist. She doesn't leave. And just like that, it feels like I've connected to my mother on a spiritual level.

I'm going to fix this. Even if it takes me the rest of my life. I look up and see the two guys peering over the side of the boat, waiting for me anxiously.

Luckily I won't have to do it alone.