"Niall." I whimpered, my heart breaking even further at the site of him sitting there, in pure bliss, completely unaware of the hell bent world around him.
"Hey..." he grinned. "Have some."
He pointed to the coffee table where a syringe laid.
The raging war that had died down inside of me ignited again as I battled my inner demons for the needle.
'You're at rock bottom, Shay, you can only go up from here, and think how amazing you're going to feel. It's not going to hurt.' The voice inside my head told me.
'But, look down, Shay, See that date? Eight years ago. You've been clean for eight years. Think of how good your life's been in those eight years.' Another voice battled. It was one of those moments where I had angel me on one shoulder, and devil me on the other.
"C'mon, babe." Niall said, eyes still closed.
Tears started flowing down my cheeks as I picked up the syringe and inserted the needled into my vein.
Whatever was in the syringe didn't work. I knew it was because, even though I was an addict for three years, I'd built up an 'immunity' to small doses.
"It's not working." I told Niall, "I need more."
Every night, after Harry left, I would go over to Niall's flat and we'd get high together. He managed to act somewhat normal while in the studio, so the boys would become less suspicious.
*Josh's P.O.V.*
I'd been trying to call Shailey for over an hour now, she wouldn't answer any of my calls and I was getting extremely worried. I decided to go over to her place to check on her. I kissed my wife and daughter goodbye before leaving. I passed Niall's flat on the way to Shay's and noticed her car was there. I immediately slammed on breaks and pulled in. When neither one of them answered the door, I unlocked it and went in. I found both of them asleep in the living room. What I noticed next made my heart sink.
"Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!" I said as I rushed over and studied Shay's arms. Fresh pin pricks, were amongst all the old scars. I slammed my fist against the wall and rushed out onto the porch to call Paul.
*Shailey's P.O.V.*
Apparently while me and Niall were out, Josh had come over and discovered what we'd been doing, and now, I was sitting on the couch with Niall, while Paul preached to use about drug use and the position that we, well Niall, was in. It was finally decided that we would be sent to rehab.
Rehab. Exactly what I needed. To go to a place where people would tell me the obvious- that I had problems.
We had to stay there for six months. The first three months of the boys tour were cancelled, being as they couldn't tour without Niall.
The boys and Rosemary were our main visitors, visiting multiple times a week. My biggest three were Josh, Rosemary, and Harry who visited everyday. Josh had apologized multiple times about calling Paul and getting us sent to rehab but, he knew how hard I struggled to get clean and he wanted me in a place with constant supervision so I wouldn't slip up.
Niall and I were talking one day, one of those raw emotion, everybody's crying, heart to heart talks.
"Niall, what happened? Why did you go off of the deep end like that?" I asked.
"Can I be honest?"
"Of course."
"When I cheated on you, it hurt me. Then, you yelled at me that day and I just started drinking even more. Then when I found out you were pregnant with Harry's baby, the alcohol wasn't fixing anything, so I talked to a few people, got what I needed and here I am."
It crushed my heart to know that I was the driving force behind Niall to push him over the edge like that.
"Niall... I'm sorry! If I would've known that... I'm sorry..."
"It's fine. We're here now, and we're getting the help we need. Speaking of it, how's your baby?"
Everything had happened so fast and I crashed so hard, I didn't even bother telling Niall what happened.
I looked down and choked back the tears. I just shook my head and he picked up on the fact that she wasn't here.
"What happened?"
"I was pushed down the stairs."
"By who? Who would do that?"
"My dad."
"But, he's in prison!!!"
"No, he was released and was put on parole. He found me again, snuck into my apartment, and pushed me down the stairs one day. I was eight months pregnant and fell on my stomach quite hard... and it... it killed her."
"Where's your dad at now?"
"Life sentence without possibility of parole."
"I'm so sorry, Shay, I didn't know all this had happened."
We talked for another hour, pouring our hearts out to each other, crying, holding each other, and connecting on a whole new level.
It was the day we were to get released and it'd been a long six months. I'd spent my twenty-second birthday in rehab and missed Josh's. The first place we went when we left the facility, was Josh's house where we asked the boys, Lou, Paul, Sandy, Jon, Dan, and a few other people from management to meet us.
We were all gathered in the living room at Josh's and they were all waiting for us to speak.
"Thank you guys for meeting us here." Niall started.
"We wanted you to meet us here because we want to apologize. The past year has been absolute hell for me and we've all had our ups and downs. We've screwed up all of your lives over the past few months, but, not one of you have left our sides and we want to say a massive thank you for that."
"Yes, Shay said it all. we're massively sorry for everything we've done, and we don't know how we'll be able to repay any of you, but please know that we thank all of you and we love you so much."
Paul spoke up, "You know you guys screwed up, we don't have to tell you that, but, you also know that we love you two too, and we're here for you anytime you need us."
"Thank you." I cried as we all group hugged.
After everyone left, now two year old Savannah ran up to me and reached up for me to pick her up.
"Hey, baby girl." I said as I kissed her.
"Aunt Shay!" She squealed as she wrapped her little arms around my neck. "You home?"
"Yes, baby, I'm home. I'm home for good."
**************End**************
Oh my gosh:( It's over! Agh! I didn't expect it to end this soon, but, I hope you guys have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it! :) Although it's the end of 'Moments', I will finish 'I Gotta Feeling' and definitely write more stories! I start school on Monday and with volleyball, I've got a crazy schedule, but, I promise I'll post as much and as often as I can! :) love you guysss<3
