HIJABI ✔️

Chapter 44

Ruqayyah's POV

I was now finding the courage to leave my car and face Alex. I texted him letting him know I was here already. He was probably saying goodbye to my parents.

Ruqayyah, just do it and get it over with. Everything will go back to how it was, back to how it should have stayed.

I leave my car and walk to the back of my house, where I knew no one would see us. I walk from one side to the other, slowly gaining the courage to just say it and get this over with, but then I feel the presence, the scent, and the courage runs away.

"I'm here, now can you tell me why were you crying on the phone?" Alex asks as I try to avoid his eyes.

"I'm just not feeling well," I tell part of the truth.

"What's wrong, are you ill?" He asks, his voice full of concern.

"What if I tell you, I.... don't like you anymore?" I couldn't almost speak, my voice went quieter each time.

"What do you mean?" He looks confused, but did not take it serious.

"I mean... I don't..." I breathe before reluctantly continuing, "I-I... I don't like you anymore."

"Ruqayyah, I can clearly see you're not well. What happened? Do you want me to get you something to take?" He steps closer and immediately step back.

Please Alex, just take it serious already. Get mad at me and leave - I begged mentally

I didn't want to have to go to the extremes.

"I am not well, but it doesn't mean I don't know what I feel. It's just that everything I felt for you is... gone." At no moment I looked at his eyes.

"What do you mean it's gone? True feelings don't disappear from one day to the other." He was finally taking it serious.

"Then maybe it was never a true feeling. I thought what I felt for you was real, but it was just..."

"Just what?" He encouraged me to finish the sentence.

"Curiosity. I guess I was swayed by the feeling of having someone like me." I couldn't convince my own self, then imagine him.

"I don't get you,"

"I know. All you have to know is that I don't want this..." I wave at the two of us, "To continue in any way possible."

"If this is a joke, then it is the most ridiculous joke ever."

"It isn't. I really thought it was love, but obviously, it isn't. I can't stay with someone I do not like. I would feel like I'm using you and I don't think you deserve that. You deserve someone that truly likes you. Perhaps Jessie." I can't believe I just said that.

I could feel the pain through his eyes. I felt terrible and I wanted to cry.

"Alex.. it's over." I tell him as I think of walking away, but he speaks,

"That's it? You're going to just walk away after telling me you've been using me all this time because you wanted to have the boyfriend experience?" He says pain shown through his words. I just look down and I don't answer, "I don't believe you." I don't believe myself either, "Ruqayyah, look at me." He demands, but I don't. My eyes are already filled with tears. I don't want him to see me cry.

"Alex..."

"Why are you acting like this?" He asks and I wanted to tell him everything, but I couldn't, "I can clearly see you aren't happy with this. Just tell me what's wrong, whatever that it is, tell me. I will help you, I promise."