I remember the day we first met, three years ago. we were in sixth grade and I was finally making friends! I was in line for Foursquare, and this girl came up behind me with a lot of hair ties on her wrist. she had blonde hair and the cutest smile, but she always said she looked Asian when she smiled. not a bad thing. she was confusing and hard to figure out, but that's because I was pretty gay, and I didn't even know it. (the power of yet)
in seventh grade, we had the same first period and the most psychotic teacher in the entire known universe. we all hated him. we used to waste so many index cards writing down things he said, or writing little notes to each other. I had the BIGGEST crush on this girl, even still demanding to myself that I was DEFINITELY NOT a lesbian. I thought seventh grade was pretty fun but looking back I was really ugly.
eighth grade rolled around and it was basically a dumpster fire. when I tell you I was ugly, bitch I mean it. we didn't have any classes together, but nevertheless, I continued to fall in love with this girl. I thought about her all. the. time. she told me she liked me but I was too scared to tell the girl I liked her back because I didn't want her rejecting me. yep, that's right. I was scared that A GIRL THAT LIKED ME would reject me. so basically, eighth grade was a literal dumpster fire. this would be where an English teacher asks you what the conflict is and you say "person to self".
Now, we're in high school, and we don't go to the same school which sUcKs but it's whatever. now here's the thing, I still really like her, like, a lot. I can't just make a move and ask her out because I am a BOTTOM and I could NEVER. she's still her beautiful self though.
sometimes I think about what it would be like if we were living together, right after we graduate. just, young adults doing stupid shit. I would be able to lay down close to her face, hear her breathing while she sleeps, and just look at her. it's incredible how one person can contain this much beauty.
I want to get my license as soon as possible so I can pick her up outside of her house, we can drive around at night and roll the windows down. she could put her head on my shoulder when we park somewhere quiet to watch the stars.
if you're reading this, I love you. date me.
no balls
