The Ferris Wheel

3

Before I can fully comprehend what's happening, both Mack and Keara turn and face me.

"Oh, hey, Jess!" Mack says. "I didn't know you were gonna be home so early."

"I-I was just leaving," I stammer while trying to avoid all eye contact with Keara. "I just need to get my computer charger, and then I'm headed to the library."

"No, you just got back! We're almost done, and you should just hang here. Plus, it's freezing outside."

I force a smile. "Okay, fine. I'll just be at my desk."

My heart is going a mile a minute and my hands are already sweating, but I'll get through it through Mackenzie. She is seriously the greatest roommate of all time, and she always means well. Even if that means me having to endure emotional torture for ten minutes.

I put in my earbuds and listen to the song Mack recommended to me. I pick up the scrap of paper she wrote the song on for reference, and I see that there's more writing on the back: P.S. she's gay. That sells the song before I ever hear it. 

I'm only a few measures into the song when I know I love it. It's truly a masterpiece, and I end up taking five minutes to browse through King Princess's pictures on Google. She's also a masterpiece.

"Alright, Mackenzie. Are you all set for your exam?"

"I think so! Thank you so much for helping."

"Of course! Just call or text me anytime. See ya."

"Bye!" Mack leads Keara out of our room and shuts the door, walking over to her bed and jumping onto it face-first. She sighs.

"What is it now, Mack?" I ask. 

"Ugh, nothing much. I just wish I could eat dinner in bed every night and not have to wake up until 2 p.m. every day."

"That would be living the dream, my friend. P.S. that song you showed me is amazing."

"Oh, 1950? I love it. It's actually based off of one of my favorite movies."

"Which one?"

"Carol."

"The sad gay one?" She nods. "Why do you torture yourself with that sad shit? Why don't you watch cute rom-coms or Disney movies?"

"Because those aren't realistic. It brings me comfort in knowing that the stories some movies tell are genuine and can happen in real life."

"True. But don't you like being even a little hopelessly romantic?"

"Jess. Do you even remember freshman year?"

I think back to three years ago. "Oh, yeah."

"Yeah. That's why."

"It makes sense," I reply. "I've actually been trying to avoid love at all costs."

She looked at me quizzically, and I knew I had to tell her about the coffee shop.

***

"Woah. Total gay panic moment -- but like an ongoing one," she responds after I tell her everything. "Sorry about Keara! I totally would've picked another tutor if I'd known."

I shake my head. "Mack, it's fine. I just have to learn to be less awkward."

She laughs. "You definitely do. I knew something was up when you walked in -- you looked like a deer caught in the headlights."

"Was it that noticeable?"

"Yeah. But I don't think Keara noticed; She was too busy with math."

Suddenly, someone knocks on our door. We both look at each other and shrug, and I get up to answer it. A guy's standing in the doorway, and he smiles.

"I'm here to pick up Keara's pencil case that she left here."

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot to text her," Mackenzie says, jumping up from her bed to retrieve the pencil case.

"So how do you know Keara?" I ask.

"I'm her boyfriend."

BOYFRIEND?!

I stand there bewildered, my stomach flying up to my chest.

Mack grabs the pencil case and thrusts it into the guy's hands, saying a quick "G'bye, have a good one!" before slamming the door on him.

"BOYFRIEND?!" She exclaims, her eyebrows raised.

"Boyfriend," I say quietly. "She has a boyfriend."