unwanted

chapter twentyfive

unmade

A door opened letting in light. When the door closed the light remained. Footsteps echoed through the room until someone stood in front of him.

Only one of three people would bother him when he was like this. Frick, which is why Kellum had given him enough work to keep him busy for the rest of the day. Frey, but it would not be her because she never left Pensley's side these days, and Hayden.

Usually, she would keep her distance and allow him time to process. The fact that she was here told him that she knew just how bad off he was.

She sat next to him and laid her small hand on his arm.

A touch from her could make him feel stronger but sometimes it filled him with a lot of other emotions too.

Today he could not handle any of it, so he hoped he did not hurt her feelings when he moved his arm away.

Hayden would make the perfect queen. She was kind and gentle. She was very good at keeping her emotions in check. Apparently, she was even better at it then he was. Through all this she has been like a rock, while he was crumbling.

"I don't understand why you like this place so much."

The light from her wrist band was a low glow just barely lighting the gym up. He looked around it with tired eyes. "It is quiet, I guess."

"I wish I knew what to say to make it better. Frey says that he is improving."

Pensley was doing better. The nightmares that they could not understand had stopped. The thrashing and the fighting in his sleep had stop. Now he just laid there.

He is wasting away right in front of them.

"Are you sleeping any better?"

He did not sleep because he did not want to sleep. In sleep he was not as strong as he needed to be. In sleep he let his guards down and when that happened it was hard to even get out of bed.

"You're doing everything you can do. The doctors will figure out what is wrong with Pensley. You told me they were some of the smartest people in the universe. Do you still believe that?"

"Yes." He was worried about Pensley. Very. He was worried about being king. He was worried about the upcoming war and if he had made the right decision to stay and fight. More than that he worried about his own mental health.

He was losing it and trying to keep everyone from realizing that was taking its toll on him.

He always hurt and nothing he did eased that pain. He was starting to have nightmares that made no sense. Some days he had a million and one voices inside his head and other days it was only his own voice and it was always screaming.

Kellum wanted to share his fears with her, he wanted to be able to talk to someone, but he knew there were always too many listening. No one could know how close to losing it he was.

If whatever happen to Pensley was happening to him, then his people would abandon the humans and all they had worked so hard for.

Maybe that would not be such a bad thing. How did he know that whatever was happening to him would not happen to all the royals with gifts? Should his people go home?

Maybe so but deep down inside he knew he could not do it. He had vowed to stay, and he would.

Screaming on the inside, he pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. When had he vowed to stay?

Her soft touch was on his arm again. "Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay. Don't think about it, just let me comfort you."

He did everything she told him to do and within a few moments, she was able to calm him down some. Opening his eyes, he looked at her.

She was everything he could have asked for and more. Her hair was so golden blond and her eyes so blue she almost passed for one of them. She was strong and steady. As much as he feared her touch, he also enjoyed it.

She smiled at him softly. "Sometimes everyone just needs a moment to righten themselves. You wouldn't be human if you didn't."

It was a joke she always teased him with.

Her voice softened. "Frick told me that you like me. He said you would never tell me yourself. He also said that you might want to kiss me, but you'd never tell me that either."

"Frick talks too much."

"Maybe but sometimes you do look like you want to kiss me, but you never do."

He felt of her hair for a moment then he tucked it behind her ear. "One day you will be my mate, but you are not yet, so I do not have the rights."

Her smile was beautiful.

"He said you would say that."

If ever there was a girl perfect for him it was her, but she did not feel like his. Not yet.

"He suggested that I______."

Wincing, he put his hand to his head. The sudden slash of pain was blinding.

"Kellum, are you okay?"

"Headache. I've been getting a lot of them the last few days."

"Kellum, your blood pressure is elevated. Do you require assistance?"

"I do not. We do not wish to be disturbed, Dezrick."

"Yes, future king."

At Dezrick's slipup, he looked to see what Hayden's reaction to his title would be.

She looked worried, bemused, and unconcerned about finding out he was to be king. And since when did Dezrick make mistakes?

He tried to hide his next wince of pain by offering her the treat he had been saving for her.

Smiling, she took the soda that had just appeared in his hand. "I haven't seen one of these in a long time. I thought they were banned?"

"I know how much you enjoy them, so I was saving one for you."

"That's very_____."

She lost her smile. "Kellum your nose and your mouth are bleeding. Tilt your head back. Dezrick, send help. I don't think he's okay."

"They are already on the way."

Coughing, Kellum looked at the blood coating his hand. How odd that the blood was not just red, it was a vibrant purple too.