unwanted

chapter fortyone

uncool

"I believe your assessment is correct, my King. There is a certain hum in the air around you that could be from a force field."

"Can you disarm it."

"This technology is far more advance than even ours. It is almost organic in nature."

"I want everyone working on this. No one will rest until I have my queen."

"Yes, my King.

Exhausted, he sat where he had been standing. He ran his hand over his face then his hair. He was weary to his very bones.

He could feel her. She was here but it was not enough. He needed to see for his self that she was alright. He needed______.

The last thing he needed to be thinking about is what he needed.

Tonight, he dreamed that she had been in pain and calling to him. Pleading for him to come to her. Was it just a dream or had it been real?

He could not know for sure. He had the procedure done to give him back his memories, but the physicians said it could be weeks before everything made sense to him.

He did not think it was a dream. Deep down he knew his mate had needed him, called to him, and he had not answer.

How many times had she needed him, and he had not answer?

How many times had she needed him, and he had been with Hayden?

All those times he had touch Hayden's hand and felt guilt was because even when he could not remember Jessalynn, a part of him had known what he was doing was wrong.

Jessalynn. She hated the way he said her name because it gave her warm feelings.

Warm tingles.

The same way he felt whenever she was near.

He loved her.

Before all this, love would have been too mild a word to describe how he had felt for her.

How he still felt?

He could not be sure, but he did not need to be. She was his mate, his queen, and they belonged together.

She bore his mark. They felt each other's pain.

That was everything he had come to this planet hoping to find. If he had found more than that then____.

Not if. He had found more than that and he wanted it back.

"My King, Frick is asking after your well-being."

With no more than a thought, Frick was suddenly standing at his side.

Frick was shaken since he had no warning, he was about to be blinked halfway around the world.

After he composed himself, he sat as well. "It is truly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

In all the days he has been coming here he has not once stop to admire the view. And he would not now either.

Jessalynn liked the stars. At least she had before she met him.

He looked up at them but instead of seeing them, he instead was remembering when he and his mate had sat on her rooftop looking up at them.

It was not the stars that he had wanted to look at that night. She had been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"How could I have forgotten her? She is my mate and I allowed them to erase her from me."

"I wish I could say something that would make you feel better, but I do not know what to say. How can I tell you not to feel guilty when I feel my own guilt? I forgot her too. She was my friend. My Queen, and I was in the same room as her and barely glanced her way."

He felt Frick look his way.

"They said that my thoughts of her would be clearer than yours because I was not injected with false memories. Is there any question you have for me?"

His questions were too numerous.

When he did not reply, Frick went on. "I barely glanced at her. She was hurt, was she not?"

"Yes."

"They did that to her? The Ratkilgon?"

"I think so. Some of it. I think some of it, I did to her."

"I know it is hard to not feel guilty, but it is not your fault. You did everything you could. You never stopped fighting and you were ready to destroy everything that got in your path."

"Is that not why they did this to me?"

"They had no right. It is well within your rights to protect your mate at all cost."

Kellum looked to where he felt Jessalynn. Could she really be as close as she felt?

"You will get her back and you will make this right. We will. Did you get a chance to talk to Frey today?"

He did. Pensley still was not awake but they thought his brain activity was getting better.

"She says she feels him coming back to her. I hope that is not because she wants it so bad. Every time I think about what the advisors have done, I want to hit something."

That was mild compared to his own thoughts.

"Have you decided what we are going to do with all our prisoners?"

"Not till I know what they did to her." He sighed and let his head fall. "The committee believes we should hold on to them until we know the intention of the spaceship still headed in our direction."

"And the new rulers?"

"Have not been much help. Their two concerns are finding the other new rulers and having their queen back."

"I heard that they are now closer to that goal."

"Yes. One not of this planet or ours." He has not had time to figure out how he felt about that. He has not had time to think about all the different species of aliens running around. Some with no home, some wanting to go home immediately.

He would not make any big decisions without his queen at his side. "Did I know she was my mate?"

"You suspected she was."

"Then why did I not say anything? Why did I not claim her so that I could keep her safe?"

"You told me it was because you wanted to give her time to accept it. She feared her feelings and you wanted her to be able to come to terms with being your mate, with being queen."

He looked at his friend. "Did I love her?"

"More than I have ever seen someone love someone before. That should have terrified you since no one from our planet has ever felt that way before, but it never did."

"Then why does it terrify me now?"