My Sister's boyfriend

chapter 9: In Which Yoongi Finds Out Why The Fuck

“J-JIMIN WHAT THE FUCK.” He whisper-yells as he stutters over the words as he stands. Yoongi's mouth is moving faster than his brain, he had barely processed what had happened, but apparently Jimin had kissed him and that was definitely not warranted. From the looks of it Jimin hasn't moved at all. He's sitting frozen in place, still staring staring at the spot in the bed Yoongi had just been, his eyes are so wide it looks like they're about to fall out of his head and his mouth is slightly agape.
“I, uh, I thought...” Jimin starts to stammer looking everywhere but at Yoongi's face. Yoongi's brain is on a loop. Jimin had kissed Yoongi. Why. Yoongi is pretty certain by Jimin's reactions at this point that it hadn't been an accident and the guilt on his face reaffirms to Yoongi that Jimin knows exactly what he had just done.
“WHAT THE FUCK COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT WOULD MAKE THAT OKAY?” Yoongi demands angrily, trying to keep his voice down so that his mother can't hear him. He feels completely caught off guard and confused, and hurt, but mostly furious. Jimin had kissed him while still dating Hani. What the fuck.
“I-” Jimin looks absolutely petrified, he still hasn't looked at Yoongi; eyes flickering around finding no solace in his surroundings. Jimin touches his lips with his hands and Yoongi wants to throw a chair at him. “Yoongi, I-” Jimin stammers out almost inaudibly, eyes still wider than Yoongi would have thought would be possible. Yoongi is about three seconds away from punching him.
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM.” Yoongi spits and he thinks he hears his own voice crack. Jimin stares at him for a few seconds, like he wants to say something but can't find the words. Yoongi is giving him his most murderous glare, like he's daring Jimin to say anything. Eventually Jimin closes his mouth and closes his eyes and picks himself up from the bed. He shuffles out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Yoongi stands still for a long while after Jimin leaves, completely at a loss of what he should do. He thinks the first thing he should do is tell Hani, but Yoongi has absolutely no idea how he's supposed to deal with that. Jimin had cheated on Hani of all people, what the hell. Yoongi feels like screaming, just how the hell was he supposed to break this to Hani. Hani had seemed to be so comfortable and trusting around Jimin, and Yoongi had let his guard down too. He had genuinely thought that Hani and Jimin were really good together. He had thought that he could trust Jimin with his sister's heart, but now it was not only in his power but it was his responsibility to crush her heart himself.
'Hey Hani, you know how you sometimes would make little hearts and send them off in the direction of Jimin and me, well you won't believe what happened.' Yoongi groans and falls onto his bed shoving his face into his pillow, the guilt slowly eating up his insides. Hani's boyfriend had kissed him; not just anyone, but Yoongi himself. Was it somehow Yoongi's fault? Was he giving Jimin all the wrong signals? He had thought about kissing Jimin more than once but he hadn't taken that desire very seriously, and he'd worked really hard to ignore it. It's not like Yoongi had asked Jimin to kiss him. Did I ask him to? Yoongi thinks deliriously. He groans. Why didn't Jimin just let Yoongi be a bisexual sap with a crush on his sister's boyfriend in peace. Dutiful brothers weren't built to tell their sisters that their boyfriends cheated on them with him.  Just how was Hani supposed to take this.
Yoongi hears the front door open somewhere downstairs and his mothers voice drifts up through the floors. “Jimin, are you leaving already?” Yoongi can't hear Jimin's response, or make out any of the rest of the conversation but he hears the front door close at some point and he hopes that means Jimin has left.
He immediately pulls out his phone and types out a text to Hani, “I need to talk to you.” he writes and then hesitantly sends. He hears footsteps coming up the stairs and down the hallway to stop in front of his room. Someone knocks at his door and Yoongi prays to the heavens that its not Jimin.
It's not, it's his mom.
“Is everything okay, honey? Jimin just left and he looked devastated, did something happen?”
There are several reasons that Yoongi doesn't tell his mother what had just happened, the first is that his mother had never been tactful and he didn't want his mother to be the one to break the news to Hani. The second reason was that Yoongi thinks he should consult Hani before he starts telling people that her boyfriend had kissed him. The third reason was that Yoongi was not ready to tell anyone what had happen, barely understanding it himself. The fourth, more personal reason that Yoongi doesn't say anything is that he just really doesn't want his mother to know that he had kissed a boy, even if it had been unwarranted.
“I think he got a text from his mom saying that his dog was in the hospital.” Yoongi gloomily replies into his pillow.
“Oh that's really sad, I hope he's okay.”
Yoongi hopes he burns in hell.
. . .
“Hey, Yoongi.” Hani says gently as she creeps into Yoongi's room, closing the door softly behind her. Yoongi hasn't moved from the bed but he does manage to force himself to at least sit up to look Hani squarely in the face.
“Something happened...” Yoongi says cryptically, unsure of how the hell he's supposed to start, but he knows he has to start somewhere. He can't put his hands into his pockets when he's sitting like this so he ends up fiddling with the holes in his jeans.
“...Yeah.” Hani says and Yoongi stops picking at his jeans to look at her.
“I don't really know how to say this.” Yoongi tells her honestly; trying to make eye contact.
Hani comes to sit beside him. “You don't have to.” She says and Yoongi looks at her furrowing his eyebrows because he's pretty sure he does have to tell her but Hani sighs, “Jimin told me what happened.” she explains and Yoongi feels sick. Somehow the fact that Jimin had told Hani what he did only made it worse, and it doesn't make Jimin any less guilty.
Hani puts her arm around Yoongi's shoulder and pulls him into an awkward hug.“I'm sorry.” Yoongi says quietly to his knee, at a loss of how to comfort her in a way that didn't sound condescending. He'd always been bad at intimate moments like these.
“Thanks for telling me.” Hani replies just as quietly. They sit for a while, Yoongi doesn't really know what to say anymore. He looks over at his sister to see that she's biting her lip, looking at the floor of Yoongi's bedroom. “Since you're telling me the truth here I think I owe you some truth of my own.” Hani tells him.
“Yoongi, Jimin and I were never really dating.” Hani says sighing, “It was all fake, none of it was real, he was just pretending to be my boyfriend so that mom would stop asking questions.” Hani stops speaking for a moment, letting that settle in in Yoongi's mind as she takes a deep breath. She begins to speak again, “It's just, I don't-” She exhales slowly and her eyes flutter shut. “Yoongi, I like girls.”
Yoongi hears himself inhale slowly as the weight of that statement settles in and things start falling into place for him. There's a heaviness in the air as Yoongi processes what Hani had just confided in him. Yoongi doesn't trust himself to look at Hani. Hani was here, sitting with him, telling him a secret about herself that Yoongi had only shared about himself to one person in the whole wide world, and it hadn't even been Hani. And to put icing on the cake, Jimin hadn't betrayed anyone and now Yoongi has shouted at him for no good reason. Yoongi thinks he feels tears well up in his eyes,
“That's okay.” Yoongi says and he winces when his voice cracks. He's determined to let Hani know that he understands and supports because he knows that's what he would need to hear. “Boys are overrated anyway.” Yoongi jokes trying to break the tension. When Hani looks at him Yoongi sees that there are tears in her eyes too. She looks like she's halfway between crying and smiling and Yoongi knows this must have been a big moment for her. He feels an innate protectiveness well up in his chest.
“Come'ere you gay bastard.” Yoongi says pulling Hani into a tight hug, and she hugs him back just as hard. Yoongi wants to come out to Hani then too, but he thinks he'll let Hani have this moment, content to support her quietly from the sidelines for the time being; he doesn't need to make the conversation about himself. Yoongi feels in that moment that maybe he's doing okay as Hani's dutiful brother.
. . .
Yoongi thinks him and Hani have gotten closer. They still have petty fights and Yoongi still can't be the bigger person or show affection for shit, but for some reason he thinks that somewhere underneath, the familial ties that he had to Hani had strengthened.
Things with Hani's fake-boyfriend Jimin, on the other hand, have gotten more strained. Jimin still comes over every now and then and Yoongi will see him around the house, but Jimin is always there for Hani and he never seeks out Yoongi's company or goes any further than greeting him politely. Yoongi can't help but feel really guilty about it. In retrospect he thinks he overreacted to being kissed by Jimin. At the time of course he had been taken completely by surprise but Yoongi thinks he should have known Jimin better than to immediately conclude that he was a terrible person. He doesn't know exactly what he should have concluded but Yoongi thinks he could have given Jimin at least a little benefit of the doubt, let him explain himself. Yoongi thinks he deserves this treatment from Jimin, maybe he had gotten so wrapped up in his own guilt for wanting to kiss Jimin that the second Jimin had kissed him he had taken that all out on him. Jimin never deserved to be yelled at and Yoongi knows he's a trash friend for it.
Yoongi wonders if Jimin thinks that Yoongi rejected him or if Jimin is upset with Yoongi for shouting at him. In either case, Yoongi is pretty sure that if he wants to continue being friends with Jimin it is himself who has to take the plunge and make amends with Jimin. His reaction to Jimin kissing him had probably been a huge fear for Jimin and Jimin shouldn't have to be the one to bridge the rift that had formed between them. But for Yoongi it's always just been easier to avoid his problems by letting his relationships fall apart; assume that people are better off without him and rationalize that he'll probably screw up again. Against his better judgment, Yoongi does what he does best and gives Jimin some space.
Or at least he does for about a day; the next day he texts him.
 
Yoongi:
can u meet me at the coffee shop at 7pm tm?
. . .
He doesn't expect a reply and so Yoongi isn't surprised when he doesn't get one. He half expects Jimin not to show up to that meeting at all, hell he could be busy, but Yoongi decides that he wants to give Jimin the chance to meet Yoongi of his own free will. Yoongi knows that he had hurt Jimin and he had already decided that he was going to apologize sometime regardless of whether Jimin showed up to this meeting or not, but part of him still hopes that Jimin will come see him.
Jimin, of course, the ridiculous sweetheart that he is, actually does show up albeit five minutes late. Yoongi sees Jimin coming in through the front door and he immediately looks nervously at the empty seat before him. Yoongi had already ordered Jimin's drink for him; a coffee with two cremes and two sugars. Jimin had ordered that exact drink since him and Yoongi had gotten coffee together at school.
“I almost didn't come.” Jimin admits sitting down across from Yoongi and Yoongi doesn't believe him.
“I got you a coffee.” Yoongi says looking down at his own cup of coffee that he grasps nervously in his hands.
“Thanks.” Jimin says and Yoongi's stomach starts doing somersaults, he really is terrible at these things. His instinct was to insult Jimin to break the tension; being genuine was too impossible a task. It strikes Yoongi that this is the first time he has really talked to Jimin since he had found out that him and Hani had never been dating in the first place. It was also the first time they had spoken since Jimin had kissed him.
“I, uh, wanted to apologize.” Yoongi says still staring at his cup, he notices his voice is several pitches lower than usual. “I didn't mean to yell at you, I was just caught off guard, I mean I know that's no good excuse, I just, well-” He breaks off his speech for a second, let's not get off track he thinks, he hadn't come here to excuse himself, “I really just wanted to tell you that I should never have yelled at you. I don't know what I should have done but it wasn't that. You don't deserve to be yelled at."
There's about a beat of two seconds where Jimin doesn't reply and Yoongi still refuses to look up from his own coffee cup. He hears Jimin chuckle quietly, “I'm not mad at you.” he says and that makes Yoongi finally look up and make eye contact with Jimin. “It's not exactly your fault, is it?" A small ghost of a smile appears on Jimin's face, "I mean if I admit it to myself yeah I was a little upset but I really don't blame you.” Jimin smiles one of the smallest supportive smiles at Yoongi and Yoongi thinks he's falling in love all over again. “Thank you though,” Jimin says and in that moment he looks very small.
Yoongi wants to reach out and hold Jimin's hand or stroke his hair, but his hands never leave his coffee. “Are we still friends?” Yoongi asks instead.
Jimin's smile is back, growing on his face as naturally as flowers bloom, “Yeah, we're still friends.”

writing this chapter was impossible,
but yeah HEY I FINISHED MY FINALS *fingers crossed* i really hope you like this chapter, leave some comments <3