All Out Of Love

Wallowing Avenue

Madison now considered Ben and Jerry's a new food group.

Once upon a time, she would've laughed and guffawed at the woman she was now. Being the "first daughter" of her father's thriving mega-church and dealing with the demands of her father's ministry meant her skin had grown tough enough to the point where she had discovered that tears solved nothing.

Yet, here she lay, in the dimly lit room where the tears flowed freely. Squeezing her eyes tight, she prayed that the last two months were make-believe and that she had just been dreaming. Still, each time she opened her eyes, the harsh reality hit her like a head-on collision.

She'd taken the biggest gamble on love... and lost.

Now, laying in the bed which she had made, the realization hit that maybe she wasn't one of the women destined to find love on reality television. After all, only the desperate, deranged and loveless came to find love on shows like this. With a heavy sigh, Madison mentally ticked the box resigning herself to her fate that maybe...just maybe she fell into each of those categories.

With the show's finale airing in a few weeks, Madison tried her hardest to convince herself that life would return to normal and that no one would bring up her time on the show. In the past, she would've worried about the way people viewed her or even if they liked her enough to be her friend. Therapy had helped a great deal with her need to seek validation from others, yet there were still moments when she struggled.

The show had been one big, giant struggle.

Hearing that her look needed to be overhauled on Day 1 wasn't the most soothing compliment yet she took in stride. Her bohemian hippy, thrift store style didn't cut in in the world of fake tans, peroxide and sparkly gowns worn by the young social media influencers looking to extend their fifteen minutes of fame.

Dipping her trusty spoon into the tub of chocolate chip cookie dough, Maddy counted the minutes till the production team did their routine welfare check. With the knowledge she had at least five more minutes of time alone with her rambling thoughts, the slipped to the floor assessing the damage she had inflicted to the luxurious room during her meltdown.

Sucking her teeth, Madison sank further into the plush carpet with all intent to enjoy her pity-party of one. Long-gone were the tears which had left her eyes swollen and puffy. Instead she was teetering on the edge of a slow-burning anger aimed at the man who had shattered her heart into a million little pieces and led her on for weeks.

When the soft rap on the door finally came, she had been playing a game of complex emotions roulette. Stumbling like a new born gazelle discovering its legs for the first time, Madison breathed a sigh of relief as the friendly face of her producer appeared.

"I come bearing gifts," Ariel slipped into the room with a much needed ice-cream refill, navigating through the maze of discarded clothing she had ripped off in her attempts to crawl into bed once she had wrapped up her final interviews earlier in the night.

"You're a godsend. You might just be the best part of this experience for me,"

"How are you doing?"

"I feel stupid...like I should've listened to my family's advice and stayed at home," The honesty of her admission made the young producer gasp. After the tears and the screaming, the honest truth was hard to ignore.

She should've turned her tv off. Madison winced, slowly coming to terms with the fact that this all would've been avoidable if she had ignored her friends and had never seen an episode of Real Chance At Love. In the span of the fourteen episode run, she had gone from sceptic to super-fan yet in her heart of hearts, she wished she had never laid eyes on the seemingly unlucky in love bachelor by the name of Ethan Wright.